I Don't Believe In Coincidences

Do you? Believe in coincidences? I don't. I don't believe things 'just' happen, so I guess you could say I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that because I believe Jesus orchestrates our every move, our every step, for some purpose or another. Allow me to give you an example.

My awesome father in law posted on Facebook that there was a crazy shoe sale at the local department store. Shoes? Sale? I'm there. As soon as I saw the post, I was out the door. When I got to the store it was packed. I mean, can't move, people everywhere, line out the building packed. I searched high and low for the new Nike sneakers I wanted, but I couldn't find them. Luckily, my husband was home and was able to get them online for the sale price! Score!

I was a little disappointed I didn't get to have the joy of purchasing my new sneakers, so I decided to go shop around. After all, I had gone to the store to spend some money! I made my way over to the Christmas section (c'mon, who doesn't love Christmas, even at the beginning of November). The display was gorgeous! I walked around and thought about what I would splurge on (I'm a stay at home mom on a tight budget). I couldn't find one thing I REALLY wanted. Then, I saw the Department 56 Villages Collection display. If you know me, you know I have the Department 56 North Pole Village. Yes, these buildings and their accessories are expensive. That's why I don't buy them, I get them as gifts. :) I've collected quite a bit over the years and am always looking out for any new pieces to ask for as a Christmas gift.

I looked up and down the isles and decided that this year's new pieces weren't something I desired. Then, there it was, the one piece I've wanted since I started collecting. This piece was big, beautiful, and perfect for my collection. Unfortunately, with this big, beautiful piece, came a hefty price tag. I never asked for it for Christmas because it would be the ONLY gift I would get and I thought that would be silly. I mean after all, it was just a building. Oh, but what a beautiful building it was...

I stared at the box in amazement. Even the picture on the box sparkled. As I stared at the box, my eyes wondered to the top of the box where the price tag was. I looked at the price, already knowing what it would say and looked away. Wait a second, did I see that right? What in the world?! There must be a mistake. Here was a $150 building and the price I was reading said $24.95. That's twenty four dollars and ninety five cents. "No, that can't be. There probably should be a one in front of that two," I thought.

I was baffled. BUT, having worked retail in college, I decided to take the box to the register and see if they would honor the price on the box. "Hey, the worst that could happen is that they say no." So I grabbed the box and carried it to the register with the biggest smile on my face having a feeling of ownership already. The box was empty, so I knew the building was on display somewhere. I told the girl at the register the box was empty and that the building was on display, but I wanted to purchase it. She told me to wait while she hunted it down.

I waited patiently, hoping, praying, that the price on the box was for real. I waited for about five minutes and the girl came back with MY building. Oh it was so beautiful. I was in love. I talked to her about how busy the store was while she packaged the building in it's perfect box. Then, I held my breath as she scanned the price tag. "Ok, your total is $26.34." YES YES YES!!!! It was the right price!! Honestly, I don't remember the cents...I just heard $26 and blanked out after that because I was so excited!

The best part? I didn't pay the $26.34 or whatever it was. The sweet girl at the register decided to give me a 25% discount. I have no idea why. I know at one point she thought a piece had broken off, but I showed her that the one piece she thought was missing was actually in the box and was supposed to be detachable. But that's the only reason I can think of why she would give me a discount...

So, how much did I pay for the building in the end? A building that was originally $150? And if you know anything about Department 56, they don't go on sale. I paid the lovely price of $19.05. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
My village is complete now. :) Except for maybe a few accessories... ;)

A coincidence? I don't think so. I believe it to be a blessing from God. And you can think I'm crazy for thanking Him over and over for it. Because I believe God does care about the stupid things we care about, even silly buildings. :)

#GodMustReallyLoveMe


My new building :)

...I count it all as loss...

I sit here. It's a Friday night. My 19 month old is sleeping. My husband is reading article after article about the hottest new computer game on his Ipad. The tv is on, but no one is watching. I stare blankly at the laptop in front of me. I have no idea what I'm reading because I'm in deep thought. How did my life end up like this? What happened to those fun Friday nights out in high school and college? I swore my life would never be this way. Yet, here I am, doing exactly what I swore I'd never do.

Life used to be fun. Now, it just seems stressful and overwhelming. So much to do, so little time. Not enough time to do the things I want and desire. No time to foster new friendships and relationships. No time to work out as much as I want. No time to just breathe and enjoy life. Instead, I eat at the kitchen counter because actually getting to eat is a luxury between chasing my 19 month old and keeping him happy (yes, I have constant indigestion). I've convinced myself doing dishes is fun and therapeutic since I do them at least three times a day. And laundry? That's the highlight of my day.

It's Friday night. I sit here thinking. I'm slowly drowning in self despair. I tell myself I need to stop. I need Jesus. I need some hope. I turn to google. "Daily devotional for women." I see this verse: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3 

This is exactly what I need to read. 

My trial is minimal, but the road is no less rocky. I needed to see this. I needed to be reminded that when the world constantly fails me, God never does and He shows up at the perfect times. Like on this Friday night, when I feel like the biggest loser ever. 

Thank You God for who You Are and continue to Be in my life even though I constantly fail and disappoint You. Thank You for loving me no matter what. Thank You for being there for me when I feel alone. Thank You for giving me hope in a world that has none. Thank You for the trials that teach me how to persevere, persist, and trust. Thank You Father 

God has given me this verse: What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ - Philippians 3:8

"My power is made perfect in weakness"

Last night at church was awesome. There really is something about a few people who get together with open hearts. God is able to move freely and it is just amazing to be simply sitting in His presence. It's beautiful...

As my husband began his sermon on 'suffering,' I made a face. 'Suffering' is not a topic I like to talk about. Then again, who would like to talk about it? Since we are a small group, my husband asked me why I furrowed my brow and gave him 'a look.' I said, "I get that we have to suffer sometimes, but I don't want to think about it." Everyone laughed...they probably agreed.

Simply put: My husband answered the age old question as to 'WHY'  people suffer. And the answer is this: God allows us to suffer for His glory and for His Namesake. Contrary to what some people believe, tough times don't come upon us because we sinned or did something wrong (read John 9:1). It's not ALL Satan attacking us. Maybe Satan is attacking, but it's only because God is allowing Him to do so (think Job, God allowed that).

My husband used this awesome analogy of Satan on a leash and God controlling the leash. Satan does NOT have power over God. God is in control of everything.

To be honest, the entire sermon I tried 'not listening' attentively. I really didn't want to think about suffering, but we all know it's going to happen in some way or another. Sometimes it's what grows us and brings us closer to God. But sometimes it's just to bring glory to His Name. 2 Corinthians 12:9 - Paul has some type of ailment and prays three times to God asking Him to "take it away.." God responds, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Following that, Paul writes, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

My husband closed out church with a prayer and as soon as I closed my eyes, I started complaining to God. "Ugh, God, why do we HAVE to suffer?" (so silly of me, especially because my husband JUST preached on it). I felt God say, "because then you'll know that I am real." I went from complaining, to apologizing over and over. "I'm sorry God, I get it, I'm sorry." A total 'face in palm, i'm so dumb' moment. Who was I to ever question what God does? Good thing He loves me...

Getting back to the topic..no, suffering is not fun, but sometimes it is what has to happen to bring glory to God. And that is why we are here, to bring glory to His Name. It's that simple.

God is So AWESOME

As Fall approached and arrived in the past month, I caught "Fall fever." I love Fall and especially Fall decorations! The pumpkins, the leaves, the cornstalks, and scarecrows are all so fun and festive! I love that they represent cooler weather and the start of a new school year. Everything about it is great!

Since Fall has become my new favorite season, I've been yearning for some Fall decorations. Nothing crazy, just a simple pumpkin or pretty Fall wreath. I would love to completely deck out our condo with all things Fall, but since I stay home with my little man, our budget won't allow it (I'm not complaining here, I wouldn't trade anything for getting to stay home with my baby, it's just a fact). 

My son and I have been out and about over the past few weeks and I've wanted to buy a cute pumpkin decoration or something to place in the condo to represent Fall, but when I think about what to purchase with the extra spending money we do have, a pumpkin decoration doesn't seem important. I guess I'd rather spend my money on something more significant. Thus, I haven't bought any Fall decorations.

Ok, so I'm about to get a little off topic here, but I promise I'm going to make a connection. 

The other day, Caleb and I drove to the library. We do this once a week or so to get a new set of books to read before nap time and bedtime (Caleb loves books!). On the way, I saw this big Mega Bloks firetruck sitting out by someone's curb. There were quite a few toys and things sitting out on the curb that were clearly being thrown away. I noticed the firetruck because it was bright red and looked brand new. 

I drove past slowly at first and thought about whether or not I should grab it. It was drizzling out and I didn't want to get wet, but that firetruck was screaming my name! I turned around and drove past it again. And then I turned around again and drove past it one more time. It's bright red color and awesome stickers sucked me in, so I got out of the car, grabbed the truck and threw it in the trunk. 

After I closed the trunk, I forgot about the firetruck and focused on getting to the library. We spent about an hour at the library (we met a friend), and then headed out to get a potty and some onsies for Caleb. At the store, we saw another big Mega Bloks truck. This one was a little different from the firetruck we picked up, but similar in size. The truck in the store was a dump truck and was different colors. Caleb saw it and decided it would be a great idea to push it around the store (that means he liked it). I looked at the price and thought, "Gosh, I would love to buy this for him, but I don't want to spend the money, especially because he has so many trucks already. Uhhh, God, what do I do?"

Then, God reminded me of the firetruck I just picked up. DUH! I had completely forgotten about it! I didn't need to buy the one in the store. I already had one and it was FREE!! 

God knew I would want that truck before I even knew I wanted it. And no, I don't think that was a coincidence. I believe that because.....

Inside the firetruck were other items the people who were throwing it out stuck in there. One thing was a baseball (of no use to me) and the other things were two pumpkin votive holders perfect for our condo. :)

God is so awesome. :) Sometimes I forget that cares about the simplest things. :)

#IServeTheBestGodEver

Sovereign God

A few nights ago, I got a message from someone asking me to pray for a woman who had just lost her husband. I don't want to share too many details because it's not my place to share that much information, but this woman of faith has obviously just experienced a tragedy.

On the same night I received the message asking for prayers for this woman, my son, who has been sleeping through the night for over a year now, woke up crying. As I sat in the rocker with him taking complete advantage of the moment (he doesn't usually let me rock him to sleep anymore), I began to think about this woman. Knowing the few details that I knew, I began to pray for her.

I wasn't sure what to pray for other than peace, comfort, and allowing her to be reminded that despite everything she's going through, God is still in control. As I prayed, I felt it necessary to continually pray that God show her He is still in control.

After a few minutes I put my son back in his crib and climbed back into bed. I prayed for a few more minutes and then just laid in bed thinking about this woman. As I thought about her and her situation, I thought of others who have been through tough times. My heart began to break as I thought about these people in these tragic situations and I began to question God. Why? Why does our loving God allow these things?

As soon as I asked these questions, I felt God say, 'because I am the sovereign God.' As many thoughts crossed my mind as to what God meant by that, I had a sudden urgency to research this word, 'sovereign.' I knew what it meant, but obviously there was more to God's sovereignty then I knew. So, there in bed, at 2:30AM I googled 'sovereign' on my husband's Kindle Fire.

I found this from thefreedictionary.com:

1. One that exercises supreme, permanent authority, especially in a nation.., as: a king or queen

and this

2. Self-governing, independent; having supreme rank or power; paramount, supreme.

and this

3. autonomous, free, unmitigated

As I read those descriptions of the word 'sovereign,' I realized that those terms and phrases were a good depiction of God and His power. To be honest, I didn't really like what I read. God is powerful, there's no question about it and He does rule and that's awesome. What I didn't like was the definition of autonomous which means not controlled by others or outside forces.

In a way, that's a good thing. What that told me is that God is going to do whatever He wants. His plan is going to be fulfilled whether we like it or not. The fact that no one can touch His perfect plan is awesome. But what I didn't like was how it said that autonomous means not controlled by outside forces. I began to question, 'What about our prayers? Sometimes our prayers change God's mind.If our prayes don't change things, then why do we pray?"

I guess you could break down the word controlled and say that I took it in a direction it wasn't meant to go. I know we don't control God, but our prayers do change things sometimes. And I could say that sometimes we do persuade God by our prayers. Think of Moses praying on behalf of the Isrealites in Exodus.

To be honest, the definitions I was reading were a great reminder of how powerful God is, but I already knew that and I wasn't sure how it related to what I had been praying about earlier. However, as I kept reading various synonyms of 'sovereign,' I got to the bottom of the page and found this:

excellent, valuable, efficient, helpful, reliable, worthwhile, unfailing, effectual..

As I clicked on some of those words for a better understanding of what they meant I found things like, trustworthy, faithful, and infallible.

That's when it clicked. Yes, God is indeed powerful. He has a plan and my guess is 9 times out of 10, His plan pans out. There are times our prayers may change things, but I'm not sure when or how they do. Maybe they change God's mind more often then not, but I may never know for sure.

Here's the thing: how awesome is it that there's a God out there that controls the universe and even though He is powerful and can do whatever He wants, He's faithful to us, He's trustworthy, He's reliable and worthwhile, He's unfailing and excellent. That amazes me...

I felt God remind me that night that just because bad things happen and we don't understand them, doesn't mean God lost control. In fact, when bad things happen, God is very much in control, fulfilling His plan. I find comfort in this...

...and I guess that's why I repeated my prayer of asking God to show that woman who lost her husband that He is still in control.

#myGodisAwesome

Oh How He Loves Me

We just had an awesome church service at Authentic. I don't know what was different tonight, but it was so awesome. I felt God so close tonight, closer than any other night, at least, as far as I can remember. We had great worship and then a great word on Nehemiah 9. We talked about covenants and the importance of a covenant. I learned that a covenant is like a contract, except if someone breaks a covenant they die. We talked about the old covenant God made with Abraham and how God made Abraham and His descendants (the Israelites) many promises, gave them many mercies, and blessed them abundantly. We also talked about how the Israelites ignored, disobeyed, and rebelled against God. And we talked about the new Covenant that was created when Jesus died for us.

It was really interesting how we approached this study. We first wrote down all the things God gave the Israelites in Nehemiah 9. Then, we wrote down all the responses from the Israelites to the things God gave them.

This really put things into perspective for me because I know we are much like the Israelites. As we were writing all these things down on the dry-erase board, I thought about my own life and how it resembled the Israelites. God has blessed me abundantly and given me so much and yet I continually disobey, ignore, and rebel. I'd like to think I don't intentionally ignore God, but I know I do.

As I thought about my life, I thought, "Gosh, I must really drive God nuts. One minute, I love Him, the next minute I'm ignoring Him, the next minute, I'm asking Him for favors. I must seriously drive Him crazy."

As much as I would love to think I am NOT at all like the Israelites, I am exactly like them. When I read about how God made them promises and then two verses later, they are doubting Him, I think, "OMG they are so stupid! I would NEVER do that! I wouldn't doubt!" But if someone read a book of my life, they would find the same thing. They would see God make me promises and then two paragraphs later me doubting what I clearly heard Him tell me.

I don't like coming to this realization, that I am exactly like the Israelites. I like to pretend that I would be better than the Israelites. I would like to think that I would obey God and listen and serve Him perfectly, but I know I will always be just like them.

This makes me feel bad. I feel bad that I can't do a better job. I feel bad that God created us and we fail Him constantly. I feel bad that His children constantly ignore Him.

At the end of our service, we had an in depth theological discussion about all sorts of things and my mind was overwhelmed. I am not an abstract person. I like concrete ideas that have steps and can be figured out. Anything else is hard for me to grasp. I came to the conclusion at the end, that despite me being just like the Israelites and failing constantly, and no matter what I think about free will or the rapture or death, Jesus still loves me and nothing can change that. He will ALWAYS love me no matter what I do, say, think, or feel. He will always love me, even if I am like the Israelites. And I will always love Him. I won't love Him perfectly like He loves me, but I will try.

That's all that matters.

Strike Up A Conversation

At Bible Study last night, we discussed the first few parts of the book The Tangible Kingdom Primer: An Eight Week Guide to Incarnational Community. If you're thinking, 'what?,' you aren't alone. When we first started talking about this, I had never heard of the word 'incarnational.' What it means is: to be a representation of Jesus. So, an incarnational community is a bunch of people being a representation of Jesus. Makes sense, right? Right.

Anyway, as we were discussing this book/guide, we came to a part I did not like. Before I get into that, let me tell you something. I did NOT want to go to Bible Study last night. If you know me, you might be thinking, "Gina, you live there, you have to go!" True, but there have been times I sat in our bedroom because I was too tired and there have been times I went out because I had errands to run. Last night was one of those nights where I was too tired. I was just drained in every aspect of life: physically, emotionally, and mentally. I told my husband I didn't want to have Bible Study and that I wanted to relax. That wasn't an option, unfortunately, because it was too late to cancel and we had cancelled last week. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having Bible Study at our place every week, but it's HARD. We open up our house twice a week: once for Bible Study and once for church. It's draining, especially when you have a baby.

Anyway, I desperately wanted to cancel Bible Study, but when that wasn't an option, I told my husband I needed a break and I wasn't going to attend. I had every intention of not attending when some how, some way, God orchestrated my steps otherwise. Yes, I ended up attending Bible Study even though it wasn't MY plan.

Here's where I pick up where I left off a few paragraphs ago. We get to a part in this book/guide I do NOT like. The book and John had challenged us to do the following this week: cross you fence and do something to bless or simply converse with one neighbor on your street, cross you street and do something to connect with someone who is close to your home, but with whom you haven't built a relationship yet, and cross a social, political or ethnic barrier.

"Excuse me?! No, I am not doing that! I do NOT have the time for that," were my initial thoughts. Then I thought, "I should have skipped Bible Study like I planned, then I wouldn't have to do this." I honestly hate going out of my way, now more than ever because I don't have the energy or the motivation, but as a group we committed to this so I was stuck. And honestly, since we committed, I was going to take it seriously.

Fast forward to the next day. Here I am at ShopRite starting conversations with everyone I cross paths with, which at 730 AM, isn't a lot, but I did manage to strike up a conversation with an old couple from Bucks County in the deli line who had five sons and 6 grandchildren (by the way, the old man likes his cheese VERY thinly cut). It's amazing what you learn about people. And I did strike up a conversation with my cashier, which may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is because I NEVER talk to my cashier. BTW, she has three sons, non of which have kids and she was desperate for grandkids.

No, these people weren't in my neighborhood per se, but they were at the 'neighborhood' supermarket and it was nice to talk with them. I didn't talk about Jesus, but I made sure to give them a friendly smile and a 'have a nice day,' as I walked away. And it felt good, to be nice and friendly.

Everything was going well at ShopRite. I was making an effort to talk to people and if the opportunity arose, I'd do something nice for them like the book suggested (I did move my cart to the side for people to get by a few times). Then, as I'm in the checkout line, with my groceries all packed up and ready to be delivered to my trunk, I go to pay and realize my debit card is MIA. I have no other form of payment except a checkbook, but ShopRite conveniently doesn't take checks. Surprisingly, I was able to keep cool without having a meltdown even though I had no idea how I was going to pay for my thawing food.

I called my husband and he told me to go to the bank and take money out and pay for the groceries with cash. "How can I take money out if I don't have my debit card?" I asked. "The old fashioned way," he replied. It's been so long since I've done that, I forgot how. Luckily, the bank was like 200 feet away and I dashed there and back in 7 minutes. As inconvenient as it all was, I was able to talk to another employee and strike up a conversation with her.

When all was said and done, it was a successful day even though I had a slight mishap while checking out. I was glad I made the effort to talk to people and learn about them. It was pretty neat. And I don't know why the whole debit card going MIA thing happened. Maybe it was Satan. Maybe he was angry I was being so friendly. Maybe it was God. Maybe God wanted me to talk to the second cashier I never would have talked to if I had my card. Or maybe it was just me being dumb and leaving it. Who knows. Either way, I feel like I accomplished something. No, I didn't lead anyone to Jesus or even talk about Him, but who's to say that my smile and friendly conversation didn't brighten up someone's day? Or reveal a love they've never seen? I'll probably never know, but that's okay, I feel like I did what God wanted me to do: show His love through my actions.

BTW, I don't write this to pat myself on the back. I know there are people out there who do this on a daily basis. But this was a big step for me and I'm happy and glad I could do something this simple for Jesus.