On the same night I received the message asking for prayers for this woman, my son, who has been sleeping through the night for over a year now, woke up crying. As I sat in the rocker with him taking complete advantage of the moment (he doesn't usually let me rock him to sleep anymore), I began to think about this woman. Knowing the few details that I knew, I began to pray for her.
I wasn't sure what to pray for other than peace, comfort, and allowing her to be reminded that despite everything she's going through, God is still in control. As I prayed, I felt it necessary to continually pray that God show her He is still in control.
After a few minutes I put my son back in his crib and climbed back into bed. I prayed for a few more minutes and then just laid in bed thinking about this woman. As I thought about her and her situation, I thought of others who have been through tough times. My heart began to break as I thought about these people in these tragic situations and I began to question God. Why? Why does our loving God allow these things?
As soon as I asked these questions, I felt God say, 'because I am the sovereign God.' As many thoughts crossed my mind as to what God meant by that, I had a sudden urgency to research this word, 'sovereign.' I knew what it meant, but obviously there was more to God's sovereignty then I knew. So, there in bed, at 2:30AM I googled 'sovereign' on my husband's Kindle Fire.
I found this from thefreedictionary.com:
1. One that exercises supreme, permanent authority, especially in a nation.., as: a king or queen
and this
2. Self-governing, independent; having supreme rank or power; paramount, supreme.
and this
3. autonomous, free, unmitigated
As I read those descriptions of the word 'sovereign,' I realized that those terms and phrases were a good depiction of God and His power. To be honest, I didn't really like what I read. God is powerful, there's no question about it and He does rule and that's awesome. What I didn't like was the definition of autonomous which means not controlled by others or outside forces.
In a way, that's a good thing. What that told me is that God is going to do whatever He wants. His plan is going to be fulfilled whether we like it or not. The fact that no one can touch His perfect plan is awesome. But what I didn't like was how it said that autonomous means not controlled by outside forces. I began to question, 'What about our prayers? Sometimes our prayers change God's mind.If our prayes don't change things, then why do we pray?"
I guess you could break down the word controlled and say that I took it in a direction it wasn't meant to go. I know we don't control God, but our prayers do change things sometimes. And I could say that sometimes we do persuade God by our prayers. Think of Moses praying on behalf of the Isrealites in Exodus.
To be honest, the definitions I was reading were a great reminder of how powerful God is, but I already knew that and I wasn't sure how it related to what I had been praying about earlier. However, as I kept reading various synonyms of 'sovereign,' I got to the bottom of the page and found this:
excellent, valuable, efficient, helpful, reliable, worthwhile, unfailing, effectual..
As I clicked on some of those words for a better understanding of what they meant I found things like, trustworthy, faithful, and infallible.
That's when it clicked. Yes, God is indeed powerful. He has a plan and my guess is 9 times out of 10, His plan pans out. There are times our prayers may change things, but I'm not sure when or how they do. Maybe they change God's mind more often then not, but I may never know for sure.
Here's the thing: how awesome is it that there's a God out there that controls the universe and even though He is powerful and can do whatever He wants, He's faithful to us, He's trustworthy, He's reliable and worthwhile, He's unfailing and excellent. That amazes me...
I felt God remind me that night that just because bad things happen and we don't understand them, doesn't mean God lost control. In fact, when bad things happen, God is very much in control, fulfilling His plan. I find comfort in this...
...and I guess that's why I repeated my prayer of asking God to show that woman who lost her husband that He is still in control.
#myGodisAwesome
