I haven't posted in a long time, but what better time to start back up than now, the beginning of a new year?! The past year has been difficult physically, emotionally, and mentally. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and trying to get better in all areas. I finally feel I have entered into a period of rest and can begin focusing on things outside of myself and health in general. I don't have BIG plans for this year, just a few thoughts. First, here's a little recap of the past year.
As I sat in church yesterday and thought about this time last year, I realized how different things were in my life. This time last year, I found myself coming out of a difficult period health wise. I was so grateful for what God had done in my life that I was completely on fire for Him, willing and ready to do as much Kingdom work as I could. My husband and I put off having a third child so I could focus solely on God and doing more for Him. I even quit my online teaching job because I felt it got in the way of what I really wanted to be doing. I craved to be completely immersed in God's work.
As I prayed and prayed for an opportunity to do more for God, it wasn't until April that I found out about a new MOPS group starting up in our area. Something clicked in my spirit when I heard about it and I knew right away it was where God wanted me. I wanted to become involved in MOPS leadership for several years, but it just never seemed to work out. I always had a desire for MOPS, but I just kept feeling like it wasn't the right time just yet. Last April finally felt like the right time and that desire for MOPS was overwhelming. I still thank God for the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful group and for the chance to work with the most amazing women.
Aside from this, my personal life was difficult. From health crisis to ministry crisis, life was hard and I often found myself crying out to God for relief. Many times I felt like God was kicking me when I was down and that things couldn't get worse than they already were, but they always did (there is a completely different testimony about that and I will share that when I'm ready). That is why I am grateful for this period of rest right now. Nothing is perfect, but nothing is falling apart.
Which brings me to now: pregnant with our third child with life going, dare I say, fairly smoothly (compared to the past year). My position spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, is all very different from last year. I can't say that I am totally ready and willing to hit the ground running for God like last year, but I believe it's because God has me in a different spot for a reason.
Last year I desired to do and completely expected to do great things for God. And I expected Him to move BIG. This year, God is impressing upon my heart to focus on the small, the little things that really matter. Things like: being more patient with my kids and enjoying my time with them, spending more time with friends and taking the time to make them feel special, taking more time for my husband and family in general, loving more, especially strangers and spreading the love of God, having a better attitude toward life and people, and appreciating each day as a gift.
While all of this will be tough since there are a lot of days where I feel completely depleted, stressed out, and like I can't sacrifice one more ounce, I really believe this is what God has placed on my heart for the year. With His strength, it is all possible and I am excited to see how the little things that I attempt to do have a big impact for Him.
