Showing signs and miracles

Been reading and studying Hebrews lately. I'm not really sure why I chose this particular book to study, but I do know I felt led to read it. Today, I read part of Hebrews 2. What stuck out to me the most was where it said that salvation was confirmed by Jesus and those who had heard and knew Him. Then, it says that "God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit..." (Hebrews 2:4).
I read the footnotes on this and it said this: "God still desires that the testimony of Jesus be confirmed, especially among believers, by signs, wonders and various miracles and not by a testimony of words only."

Interesting. I am a big fan of sharing what God has done for me, in fact, I get very excited to tell people about it. I never stopped to think that it wasn't just about my words. I mean, I know that sometimes its about those other things, but why does it only have to be sometimes that miracles happen? Why don't miracles happen as often as when I share God's awesomeness with my words?

I think I've been missing something lately. Maybe we need to see more miracles. Personally, I'd like to see more, I don't know about you....

I'll be meditating on this the rest of the day....

maybe you should too....

The Spirit won today

I have no idea what to title this blog yet. I'll give it a title when Im finished I suppose. If I sat here and told you that planting a church was easy, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you we didn't experience any spiritual warfare, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you everyone was supportive, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you life was perfect because I was doing God's work, I'd be lying. If I told you there were no disappointments, no sad moments through it all, I'd be lying. In fact, the exact opposite has been happening. Planting a church is not easy. The spiritual warfare has been almost unbearable. The lack of support is hurtful. Doing God's work makes it harder. The disappointment is overwhelming. I wish I could sit here and tell the world I could handle this, but again, I'd be lying, well sort of. We've been in the process of planting a church for only a few weeks and we've been hit so hard that I've cried more times in the past few weeks then I have in my life (I am not a crier). The stress is exhausting. If this is what church planting entails, I wonder how any church ever gets planted. I was not prepared for this....

 But there's something inside me that somehow is persevering and wants to keep going. My human instinct tells me to run in the opposite direction, that it's not worth it. The spirit in me says keep going. My human instinct tells me the stress is too much. The spirit in me is excited to do God's work no matter how hard it is. My human instinct tells me to give up the fight and flee. The spirit in me says you can do this and it's going to be awesome. My spirit is excited. My spirit says you can do it. My spirit is becoming louder than my human instinct.

 Today, I thought the human in me was going to win the battle, but I didn't let it. Today, the spirit won.

 James 1 flashed on the screen for a brief moment this morning as I was praying. Heres what it says: James 1:2-12 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

 God also reminded me of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Voi3JM8ZA

March 31, 2011

I arrived at the hospital on March 30 at 6PM thinking my baby boy would come that day. I was wrong. I stalled out at 6cm and the clock just kept right on going. My labor was slightly eventful though, which makes for a good story. I needed Pitocin, then more Pitocin, then more, and just when I thought there wasn't any more in the hospital to give, they gave me a little more. They gave me as much as they could. When I started to feel pain on my left side, they gave me some whacked out concoction of drugs that made my blood pressure drop to 50/40. Needless to say, I almost passed out. Good thing those docs know what they are doing because when my blood pressure dropped, the doc ever so casually walked toward me, as if he knew this could happen, and gave me another concoction of crazy drugs. Within seconds, I was feeling good. Modern medicine is a beautiful thing.

I could still feel pain on my left side, but it was totally bearable. All of a sudden, my baby's heart rate was down and I needed to be put on oxygen. Ugh, I hated that thing. It smelled funny. I'm talking about the oxygen mask. Bleh. Next thing I knew, the doctors got this crazy idea to flip me from side to side to get the baby's heart rate stable. This had to be the worst things in the world. If there was ever a time I wanted to curse someone out during labor, this was the time. How are you going to ask a pregnant lady, who has a ginormous belly, who's legs are completely numb, who is totally exhausted, to flop from side to side?! Looking back, it's funny to think about John and the nurses helping me flop to one side and then the other. LOL.

At one point, I started shaking uncontrollably which was totally annoying, but it was my body's way of saying, dude, I'm spent. Prayer helped the shaking subside. At around 2:05AM it was time to push! I remember the doc telling me there'd be a few extra people in the room because of the baby's heart rate and because the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. If you told me that there would need to be 4 extra nurses and doctors in the delivery room before I went into labor, I would have said, NO WAY! However, at that point, I was so exhausted, so drained physically, it did NOT matter who was in the room, I just wanted the baby out! So again, if there was ever ANOTHER time I wanted to curse during labor, this was the other time. The doc said, "Gina, because of the baby's heart rate, there needs to be a few extra people in the room when he's delivered to make sure he's okay." I think I shook my head or nodded or something, but in my mind I was thinking, "Please shut up and stop talking to me."

30 minutes later and what felt like 908324098234 pushes later, Caleb John-Gabriel was born! The first thing I felt was relief, but as soon as I heard him cry, my heart melted and it was the most beautiful sound in the whole world! What a skinny little thing he was, with chicken legs and arms! He looked just like his daddy, it was kinda freaky. LOL He had the biggest eyes in the world and he was so alert! He HUGE hands and was constantly trying to get them to his mouth. He was so cute and little!

At first, I was afraid to hold him because he was so fragile. John was good with babies because he had so many younger brothers and sisters, so he helped me get used to holding something so small. I'll be honest, I didn't know how to feel when they first handed him to me. Part of me was petrified. I was scared out of my mind. And part of me was excited he was finally here.

One year later, I look back on March 31, 2011 as the best day EVER! What a blessing my son is to me. He brings so much joy and happiness. He is just a perfect piece of human. He is everything I prayed for and more. He's sweet, happy, loves to smile, and he loves to snuggle! He is perfect!

Babies are an absolute gift from God and a complete blessing. God blesses us constantly, but a baby is the ultimate gift and blessing <3 I thank God for my precious son <3