The Spirit won today

I have no idea what to title this blog yet. I'll give it a title when Im finished I suppose. If I sat here and told you that planting a church was easy, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you we didn't experience any spiritual warfare, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you everyone was supportive, I'd be lying. If I sat here and told you life was perfect because I was doing God's work, I'd be lying. If I told you there were no disappointments, no sad moments through it all, I'd be lying. In fact, the exact opposite has been happening. Planting a church is not easy. The spiritual warfare has been almost unbearable. The lack of support is hurtful. Doing God's work makes it harder. The disappointment is overwhelming. I wish I could sit here and tell the world I could handle this, but again, I'd be lying, well sort of. We've been in the process of planting a church for only a few weeks and we've been hit so hard that I've cried more times in the past few weeks then I have in my life (I am not a crier). The stress is exhausting. If this is what church planting entails, I wonder how any church ever gets planted. I was not prepared for this....

 But there's something inside me that somehow is persevering and wants to keep going. My human instinct tells me to run in the opposite direction, that it's not worth it. The spirit in me says keep going. My human instinct tells me the stress is too much. The spirit in me is excited to do God's work no matter how hard it is. My human instinct tells me to give up the fight and flee. The spirit in me says you can do this and it's going to be awesome. My spirit is excited. My spirit says you can do it. My spirit is becoming louder than my human instinct.

 Today, I thought the human in me was going to win the battle, but I didn't let it. Today, the spirit won.

 James 1 flashed on the screen for a brief moment this morning as I was praying. Heres what it says: James 1:2-12 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

 God also reminded me of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Voi3JM8ZA