You're probably gonna think I'm crazy, but please hear me out.
My son is three. I wouldn't say he's a 'typical boy' in that he eats dirt and shovels everything into his mouth. However, he is ALL boy and he loves to play rough with anyone and anything he comes in contact with. Sometimes it's like a light switch that goes off in him and when it does, move all the babies out of the way. He's not a malicious child and people have made it a point to tell us this. He's not mean spirited or evil (for goodness sake, he's my cuddler), he's just a BOY. He thinks rolling over top of his eight month old brother is hilarious and he does it because he's trying to 'play' with him. He'll run full speed into someone with his hand out and try to 'tag' them 'it' while unknowingly smacking them in the face. In the same step, he'll look behind him to see if that child is chasing after him and run full speed into the little girl in front of him.
I'm not making excuses for him, I promise. I used to drive myself crazy telling him to calm down every five seconds of the day. It caused me so much anxiety and stress. I'd cry at night wondering what the heck was wrong with my child while everyone swore he was 'just a boy,' but that didn't stop the 'you should have your parenting license revoked' stares I'd get at the playground. I'd call my husband at work crying on the way home from the playground completely embarrassed and distraught. I really thought there was something wrong with my son. He didn't understand how to play nice and calm no matter how many times I smacked his hand or put him in time out. I'd pray night and day for wisdom as to how I should raise my son and I still do, but nothing I did worked. I begged God for help and wondered why I was constantly failing. Why were everyone elses kids perfectly behaved and mine couldn't seem to control himself? What was I doing wrong.
Then, one night I had a dream. God revealed to me what was going on with my son. God showed me how Satan was getting to him, while I was completely unaware. And it came from a place I least expected it.
Technology. I'm not one of those 'granola mommies' (although I respect them). I believe in moderation when it comes to a lot of things. As a teacher, I believe technology can be a great learning tool and I allow my son to utilize our Nexus. It has child protection locks and he can't get to anything he's not supposed to, but even with the "child protection lock" on YouTube, the Ads are not child protected. My son was seeing Victoria Secret Ads and previews for movies about people who were demon possessed. That was how Satan was getting to my son.
A lot of people might think I'm crazy for thinking that has anything to do with his behavior, but being with him all day every day, I can see a significant change in his behavior since I deleted the YouTube app. Others have noted his good behavior as well.
This post isn't about bashing YouTube (we still watch it..TOGETHER) or technology. It's not about behavior in little boys. It's about praying, seeking God, and asking Him for wisdom on how to raise our future generation. And it takes perseverance. I can't tell you how many times I cried over his behavior before I had that dream. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to throw in the towel and just accept that my son was just an 'out of control three year old boy." I can't even begin to explain the struggle and frustration I faced as a mom through all of this. But God helped me. He gave me insight and wisdom. And I am so grateful I have Jesus to depend on. Knowing He has my boys in His hands is the most comforting thing in the world, even when those difficult times arise in the season of being a mom.
So if you get anything out of this post get this: don't give up on yourself as a parent. Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Seek Him. Ask Him for help and hand your children over to Him. He has yet to let me down and I know if you trust Him, He won't let you down either. Praying should be our first option as parents, not our last.
