What if we are the sign people are looking for??

One day last summer my brother and I decided to go surfing. It was hurricane season and the waves were big. Overall, the weather was pretty nasty. It was rainy, foggy, dark, and gloomy, but we wouldn't let that stop us from surfing good waves.
To be honest, I don't remember what the surf was like that day. I remember being more excited about the "treasures" I'd find on the beach. You see, during hurricane season, a lot cool stuff washes ashore. I guess you can contribute it to the stormy weather that stirs everything up. Anyway, you can find all kinds of cool things like pretty shells, lots of seaweed, toilet seats, sunglasses, hermit crabs, and a ton of star fish. I love star fish. They are so cool and pretty.
Anyway, when we got to the beach, I dont think I even went in the water. I was too interested in searching for "treasures." I went down to the water's edge and started walking, looking closely for anything that was appealing. I got a few feet from where we dropped our stuff and noticed a ton of star fish!! Suhweeeeeet! I didn't want anyone else to have them so I started to collect them all! There had to be at least 50! I picked up a bunch and any that were missing legs, I left for someone else (real nice of me, right?). I literally couldn't carry all of them so I made several trips. In the end, I collected 30 something star fish.
I placed them on my surf board and decided that I couldn't keep all of them, but I wanted to show my brother what I had found before I'd throw them back in the ocean. When he got out of the water, he couldn't believe how many I had collected! He went down to find more and sure enough a bunch more had washed up. We grabbed all of them and placed them on my surf board. We couldn't believe how many there were!
As we were searching for more "treasures" a little girl and her mom came up to the beach. Keep in mind it was a terribly nasty day out and that there wasn't anyone on the beach except a few surfers and one guy walking his dog. I took notice of them because the mom was wearing scrubs. It looked like she was on her lunch break or something and was taking her daughter for a walk on the beach. The mom and daughter walked up and down the beach, but didnt go too far from the block we were on (which was where they entered the beach).
As the mom and daughter were walking, I noticed the little girl looking for 'treasures' too. She was picking up random shells. When I saw her do this, I felt bad. I knew there wasn't anything good because I had taken it all. She wasn't going to find anything special.
It wasn't long after this that the mom and daughter headed back up the beach. I wasn't standing too far away from them when they passed my surfboard full of star fish and pretty shells. I heard the little girl say, "Look Mom!! Look at all their starfish!" The mom hurried her daughter along, but the little girl wanted to get a closer look. She stopped and stood, starring, just memorized by my board. The mom hurried the little girl along again. It seemed as if the mom didn't want to get her daughter's hopes up of actually finding a star fish of her own.
The little girl followed as her mom slowly walked up to the cement wall. I thought they were leaving, but instead they sat on the wall for a bit.
At this point my brother had come back from walking the beach for more treasures. I told him what happened with the little girl and how she was checking out our star fish. Both my brother and I really felt this little girl needed a star fish. By the time we realized this, the mom and daughter were headed back down toward the water to search again. My guess is the little girl convinced her mom to give it one last try to find a star fish of her own.
My brother and I devised a plan. My brother would take one of our star fish, walk several feet in front of the little girl and her mom and drop the star fish so she could find it. So, my brother did just that. He walked toward the water, dropped the star fish several feet in front of the pair and walked back up the beach to our stuff. And you know what? The little girl and her mom walked right passed it and didn't even see it! LOL
My brother and I watched as they walked passed it. We were upset. We really wanted the little girl to have a star fish. We just felt such an urgency for her to have one. So both of us watched as her and her mom walked up the beach and onto the street. Neither of us could shake the feeling of this little girl having to have a star fish. We had to get her one.
At this point, the mom and daughter were down the street, but we still wanted her to have one. Maybe they would walk back up the beach and ask for one. Maybe the littler girl will come back and walk passed our board and I'll have an opportunity to hand her one. I contemplated running down the street after them and giving her one, but wouldn't they think I was nuts?! The more time I wasted, the further down the street they got. Eventually, I just caved.
I didn't care if they thought I was nuts. There was a reason both my brother and I felt such an urgency to give this little girl a star fish. I would never know why, but we felt like it was God telling us. So I picked up a star fish and literally booked it down the street. I mean full on ran, with no shoes. And I was just in time too. They were about to turn the corner.
"Excuse me!" I said out of breath, "Would you like a star fish?"
The mom just looked at me. The little girl took the star fish out of my hand and said something like, "oh WOW!" But the little girl faded as I starred into the mother's eyes. I will never forget it. I couldn't tell you what the little girl looked like. I could barely tell you what the mom looked like. I can't remember the cars driving passed. I can't remember the house we were standing next to. I can tell you, however, what her eyes looked like because it was crazy.
You know how they say your eyes are the windows to your heart/soul. Well if thats true then in this woman's heart was gratefulness. She was so appreciative of something so stupid. I couldn't believe it. At the same time, she looked so sad. The mom thanked me over and over like I was a sign she was looking for. It seemed like she wanted to hug me, but she resisted.
I stupidly said, "Yeah I don't know if its dead or alive, but we wanted you to have one." LOL Hahaha
She thanked me again and I walked back up on the beach and told my brother what I did. He said something that really got me thinking. He said what if that woman's husband just died and she was taking her daughter for a walk on the beach to get out of the house to take her mind off of everything. What if in her mind, all hope was lost and she was waiting for a sign, something that would give her hope. And then you gave her that starfish. Or what if the little girl was so sad and today was the day you gave her a starfish and she keeps that on her desk in her room at home as a reminder of the day things got better and life turned around for her.
Whoa, that was deep. I don't normally think like that, but my brother does. What if.....
I will never know the impact giving that little girl a star fish had on her or her mom...or if it had an impact at all. All I know is that day God moved in us. And we listened. And to this day, to this moment, it touches my heart. Just knowing how appreciative that mom was that day. They may have forgotten all about it. The star fish might be in the trash. It doesn't matter. It feels good to know I made a difference, even if it was for just a moment.
And no, I don't write this to give myself a boost because I'm not all that great or special. I write this to remind myself to listen to the voice of God even when it feels uncomfortable. If I had let my mind get the best of me, I would have never ran down the street, that little girl would have never had a star fish, and I would have never had that experience.
Who knows if I will ever see those people again. I can't even remember what they looked like. I could remember the mom if I saw her eyes though. They were like crystals. They sparkled.
I do imagine I will see them in heaven one day....

Discovering unChristian Faith

This is chapter 2 of the book unChristian.

I mentioned in my previous post the dynamics of today's generation (see unChristian). The author continues to discuss the characteristics of today's 16-29 yr olds in chapter two. He also discusses the "words or phrases that people use to describe religious faith (Kinnaman, 2007)." Here are some statistics for you:
91% of 'outsiders' think Christians are antihomosexual
87% believe Christians are judgmental
85% believe Christians are hypocritical
75% believe Christians are too involved with politics
72% believe Christians are out of touch with reality
70% believe Christians are insensitive to others

The list goes on, but those are just a few characterizations of Christians by 'outsiders.'
The author does discuss positive phrases perceived by outsiders concerning Christians, but I won't list them since the numbers don't compare. The negative outweigh the positive.
The author sums up the outsiders perspective with 'six broad themes:'
1. hypocritical
2. too focused on getting converts
3. antihomosexual
4. sheltered
5. too political
6. judgmental
He gives a little summary of each, but they are mainly self-explanatory.

The author goes on to discuss some possible arguments one could use in retaliation to an outsiders perception. Us Christians could say that any outsider blames Christianity for their own spiritual denial, therefore, having a negative outlook. However, the author states that "it's easier for people to rationalize their rejection of Christ if they believe Christianity doesn't deserve respect (Kinnaman, 2007)." He goes on to say that we would be stupid if we believed an outsider would reject Christianity solely "to avoid feelings of spiritual guilt (Kinnaman, 2007)."

An outsider's perception of Christianity is not based on their own random presumptions. Their perception comes from multiple sources that include: having Christian friends, co-workers, neighbors, or family members, having been in the church themselves and experiencing the negativity, being a 'sucker' to 'secular' media (although author states that outsiders are not influenced by media as much as we think. Only 31% said that tv and movies influenced their thinking, while 44% said books influenced their perception. Music followed both at only 16%), and being hurt by a Christian.

The author goes on to discuss that Christians sometimes respond to the negative perception by 'hijacking Jesus' or present the word in a less offensive manner ('hijacking' the REAL image of who Jesus was). My question is, have you ever heard a sermon on hell? Moving on....

The sad thing is that many young people WITHIN the church hold the same perception (I would completely agree since I AM one of those young people). Here are some stats for you:
80% of churchgoers believed Christians to be antihomosexual (remember 91% of outsiders felt this way)
52% of churchgoers believed Christians are judgmental (outsiders - 87%)
50% of churchgoers believed Christians are too involved in politics (outsiders - 75%)
47% of churchgoers believed Christians are old-fashioned (outsiders - 78%)

Obviously, the statistics for those WITHIN the church aren't as bad as those outside the church. However, as a Christian, it is sad to see that half of us Christian church going people believe the rest of us are judgmental. What's wrong with that picture?

And yes, the author does say that the churchgoing 16-29 yr olds do want nothing more than to live a life for Christ and try to partake in activities pleasing to Him, but many still hold onto a negative outlook because of what they experience in their churches and the Christians around them.

The author goes on to discuss reasons on why Christians should care about an outsiders perspective. If you are interested in knowing why we should care, then read the book, but I can sum it up for you by saying this: We should care because we need to change it.

That's all for chapter two. I have been mainly just reading this book without completely forming an opinion. I am one of those 16-29 yr old Christians, but I hold an outsider's perspective. I have personally dealt with passed judgment, hypocrites, and crazies who instilled fear in me. And no, I am not talking about the fear of God, I am talking about the 'if you mess up or do anything wrong, you are going to hell kinda fear (I got saved every week because of this). At one point, I do believe I went from Christian to outsider during my college days. I stopped going to church altogether simply because the church closest to campus was uninviting and old-fashioned (no one greeted me or said hi, I felt totally unwelcomed). I was discouraged and gave up. I felt that me being a single, young girl could not help the church in any way. I was no good to them (I wasn't a family six), so no one payed any mind to me. I didn't visit any more churches after that and gave up going unless I went home for a weekend. And even then, I was one of two 20 somethings in my church.

What are your thoughts?

UnChristian

So John and I took a trip to the town carnival today in Galloway. It comes every year. Its pretty small and not a big deal unless your a 'tween' looking to mack it to your girlfriend (they were everywhere), but we figured it would be nice to get out the house to walk around for a bit. So, we went, walked and 5 minutes later, we were done.
We drove 15 minutes to get the stroller out and walk around for 5 minutes? There had to be more to do. Well, luckily there was. The carnival was right by the library so I figured I'd stop in and grab a few books. I had recently read an article on the "10 books you should have read in high school, but you probably just bought the cliff notes" and I was feeling guilty so I thought I'd grab all those American Literature classics I never read.
I like the library. Its quiet and therapeutic to walk up and down the aisles looking at random books. I like reading the summaries. Sometimes I pick up books that have a kool title or I'll pick up a book simply because the picture on the front is colorful. This is my idea of a good time these days.
Anyhoo, I was walking around aimlessly trying to find those American Classics and I stumbled upon the religion section. I was not looking for this particular section, but I had managed to make my way there. I rummaged through a few books, pulling them from the shelf and reading their summaries. Most looked boring to me, like old history books. But one in particular caught my attention. It was titled, "UnChristian." I grabbed it, read the summary and was immediately enthralled. I had to get this book. A few minutes later, after I grabbed a few of those American Classics, I was checking out and headed back to the car.
I'll be honest, as we were driving I wondered if I would really read the book. I wanted to and had good intentions, but when would I find the time? Well, I managed to find time tonight before bed and I will tell you that having only read 25 pages of this book, I am hooked. So hooked that I will share this book with you chapter by chapter as I read it. So here is chapter one.
This book is about the UnChristian or those outside the faith between the ages of 16-29. It is about the 'outsiders' (which includes many different people, not just atheists) perception of Christians and Christianity. And the findings are not good. Outsiders (as the author refers to them) of that age range find Christians to be hypocritical, judgmental, and often have a hard time connecting with them. The authors goal is to make Christians aware of these perceptions and to bridge the gap between believers and 'outsiders' so they (or we) can bring more people to Jesus. The author believes bridging the gap will help us better communicate and connect with 'outsiders.'
This all makes sense to me since I fall between the targeted research group. I have had many many conversations with people about how the church has failed and that is why we see very few 18-30 year olds in the church today.
However one thing got me thinking. The author begins to describe the characteristics of older Mosaics and younger Busters (the 16-29 year olds) in detail. We are an interesting bunch (I say 'we' because I fall into that category). He describes as this:
"..young people perceive the world in very different terms than people ever have before. For example, the lifestyles of Mosaics and Busters are more diverse than those of their parents' generation, including education, career, family, values, and leisure. Young people do not want to be defined by a 'normal' lifestyle. They favor a unique and personal journey."
He continues by stating:
"...relationships are a driving force. Being loyal to friends is one of their highest values. They have a strong need to belong....Still, under their relational connectedness lies fierce individualism...they are irreverent and blunt. Finding ways to express themselves and their rage...Being skeptical of leaders, products, and institutions is part of their generational coding...They do not trust things that seem too perfect...(They) enjoy more hours of media...Technologies connect young people to information and each other-and power their self-expression and creativity...(Kinnaman, 2007)."

I would have to agree with this generalization and I would expect you to agree as well if you fell into the 16-29 yr old age range.

As I mentioned before, something got me thinking. The author mentions a study conducted in 1996. The study was based on an outsiders perspective of Christianity. They found that 85% of Americans favored Christianity and had a positive outlook on Christians. However, ten years later, that number was cut in half.
One could say different people were surveyed which could have drastically changed the results; however, both studies, the one in 1996 and the one in 2006, included atheists, agnostics, and non church goers. So let's say that wasn't a factor.
My question is this:
Is it the church's fault for being hypocritical, judgmental, fearmongering crazies that has turned people off in the past ten years? Or is it the 'outsiders' fault for becoming cynical skeptics?
I would love some feedback.

Getting over it all with Jesus

It's rare these days that I get a moment of silence to myself. I have come to the realization that babies are loud creatures and demand more attention then one person can give. Granted, I have an amazing husband who lets me sleep in when he's home and allows me to work out every day. I do get those moments to myself, but it's rare that I get a moment to just sit and let my mind wonder. When I do get those moments, its usually in the morning, while I'm still half asleep, TRYING to get a few more minutes in before I face the day. Those few minutes are usually interrupted by a screaming a baby who is waiting for me to take care of his every need.
However, this past week has been different. Luckily for me, my husband has been on vacation from work and has gotten up with the baby pretty much every morning so I can sleep in. This has allowed me several moments of silence (as I like to call them) and many periods of reflection (reflection is one of those teacher buzz words that unfortunately has become part of my regular vocabulary). During these moments, I have prayed, asked God many questions, read the Bible, and thought. I thought about what I read and why God does the things He does. I thought about my life and how God was working in it. Most importantly, I reflected, and asked God to reveal things to me.
Now understand, that when you ask God to reveal things to you, you may not like what He reveals. I came to this conclusion recently when He revealed to me the latest revelation about myself. What was it? Read on.
One morning, during one of those precious moments of silence I got thinking about certain people God placed in my life. I began thinking about the way those certain people treated me and how they hurt me (both unintentionally and intentionally). I realized that I was very upset about how these people treated me and I became very bitter. At that moment, I realized I held stupid grudges and took things way more personally than I should have. In the end, even though I felt my bitterness and anger towards these people were justified, I hated the person I had become due to an overwhelming bitterness and regretted the way I treated those people in return.
Yes, God revealed to me, that I was bitter. Me?! Bitter? Yes. It was hard to swallow, honestly. No one likes the truth because the truth hurts, but me being bitter was the truth. Now knowing I was a bitter person, I looked back at some previous relationships and examined them. After thorough examination, I realized that I had ruined relationships because of stupid bitterness. I held grudges and refused to talk to people. And for what? For no good reason. Because they said or did something I can't even remember.
I have to say, as I am typing this, that it is not easy putting this out there for all to see. I would never want anyone to judge me because of this, but instead pray for me and my bitterness. We all struggle with something and this is my something. The first step is realization. I have realized my problem and I can only move forward. No one wants to be a bitter person. Its not worth it. It's not worth ruining relationships over. Its stupid. Life is too short to hold grudges and at the end of the day, I can't even remember why I held those grudges.
The big thing for me is not having the bitterness, but how it made me feel. It made me a miserable person. Holding grudges turns you into a nasty person. It makes you act out in anger for no reason. It causes you to be mean and take things personally. That's no good. I want to be a happy person all the time.
My plan now is to pray that God helps me. I can honestly say I am already on the road to recovery (LOL). I am giving up holding grudges and taking things personally. Life's too short to be angry, bitter, mad, or whatever. I'm getting over it all with the help of Jesus. :)