Meeting With Jesus In My Dreams

Whenever I really 'buckle down' and get back on track with Jesus (i.e read more, pray more, worship more) I always end up having these crazy dreams about Jesus. Some of them make total sense and some are just kind of random. Last night I had one of those random dreams.

It saddens me to say that I haven't had a dream where I met with Jesus in awhile. That's because I've been really slacking. I've been so caught up in feeling so terrible with my pregnancy that I couldn't focus on anything else. But after a few good books and a deep conversation with my husband, I was encouraged to get back on track. I've started reading every day, praying more, and making it a point to listen to worship music.

This is the dream I had only after a few days of spending time with Jesus:

There were people, prisoners, pacing around to the right of me. I don't know why there were prisoners or why they were being forced to walk while all shackled together, but they were. In front of me was a line of people waiting to meet with Jesus. When I looked to the front of the line, I saw Jesus. He was glowing, like REALLY glowing. Everything was bright and white around him. I started crying hysterically. No one else in line was crying (except for one girl I didn't know). It was like they couldn't see him, but they all knew He was there. It was weird.

I remember getting in the back of the line and thinking I was glad I was in the back because then no one would see me crying. I waited to see Jesus as others went before me. Then, all of sudden Jesus walked over to the prisoners. People were still moving forward in the line to pray to Jesus. He was still there, facing the front of the line, but physically He was with the prisoners (well kind of like physically). I blinked and I saw Him walking in the midst of the prisoners. They couldn't see Him though, but I saw him (He was transparent). I remember thinking one of the prisoners must have been a Christian and must have been praying and Jesus was going over there to be with that person (or people).

I got to the front of the line while Jesus was still with the prisoners and I remember being happy about that because the overwhelming feeling I was experiencing just standing in His presence at the front of the line was so intense, my knees buckled. I couldn't stand. I knew I couldn't handle Him standing next to me. It would have been too much.

There was a woman I knew (in real life) who was there and she held my hand and she prayed for me. I remember thinking in my dream that I needed to think of a need I had to ask for prayer for, but Jesus' presence was so intense, I couldn't even think and I could barely talk. All I could say was, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus," over and over again. I was crying hysterically.

God's presence was the most intense I ever felt in my life. It was very real even though I was dreaming. It was just so intense, but it was the most AMAZING feeling in the world, like all was right with my life. It was like experiencing perfection in spiritual form. There is definitely nothing on this Earth that can make me feel like that. It was intense, but perfect and amazing.

When I was finally able to open my eyes, Jesus was standing right next to me...and He was smiling....

After that I woke up. I had such an amazing peace at that point. It was awesome. Like everything was perfect...

Now that I think about it, my dream wasn't random at all. It was intended by God, to show me He's still there, He's happy I noticed Him again and to remind me that He's always there even when we can't see Him.

Two Stories

By the title of this post, it sounds like God is doing a lot in my life. Although I am sure He does do a lot, I fail on a daily basis to see it, especially lately. I definitely need to do a better job of paying attention. Currently, I am just so caught up in preparing for baby number two and my growing toddler that I get easily distracted (and tired for that matter). There are moments when I do stop, look around, and listen and when I do, I always see God in my day. Here are two moments recently when I 'saw' Him.

I was telling my husband one day that there are these moments that I have where I'll think of something I REALLY want to get our son. A lot of the time it's silly things like a toy or something he doesn't really need, but something I want to get him because I know it'll make him smile and in turn, make my heart happy. Being a stay at home mommy, money is tight and it's hard to imagine spending what little we have left over on leisurely items.

Well, whenever I have these moments where I think about the thing I want to get our son, it's shortly after that thought that I find exactly what I'm looking for, and it's usually free! For instance, the other day I was thinking about how I wanted to get our son a wagon or one of those little ride on trikes/cars with a big handle to push him with. I was thinking the trike/car with the handle would be a better option for us since we don't have a garage, live on the second floor of a condo, and the trike/car is plastic making it easier to carry down stairs. No, my son doesn't NEED this item, I just though it would be fun to get it for him.

I want to say maybe a day or two later after this thought, John, Caleb, and I decided to 'kill time' before bedtime and go for a drive. As we were driving, we passed a house that had a few items out by the curb. It looked like maybe they had just had a yard sale and those particular items didn't sell. As I looked closer, I noticed that there was a trike with one of those handles! Exactly what I was thinking about! I told John to turn around and grab it! Of course we spent the rest of the night on the trike!

I know some people would call that a coincidence, but this happens to me a lot. There were times I was worried Caleb wouldn't have clothes and we didn't have money to buy much and then a day later someone handed me boxes full of clothes. There was the time I wanted Harvest decorations for our condo, but couldn't justify spending our extra money on something so silly and then a few days later, I found some on the side of the road someone had put by the curb. I often joke with my husband and tell him I'm going to start thinking about how I want a new house and car. LOL I believe this is God, not coincidences, by the way.

Next story.

The other night, I had a bad night. I woke up so sick. Quite a few people in my family have been sick, including my husband, so I'm not sure if it was some illness or all the peanut butter I ate (I think it may have been the peanut butter because I do have an intolerance). Anyway, I woke up and felt terribly nauseous. You know that feeling you get right before you are about to 'toss your cookies?' I had that feeling for about 10 minutes straight. Ugh, it was terrible. It's the worst feeling in the world. I would have rather been dead. I actually tried to make myself get sick just so the feeling would go away. All that ended up happening was I kept dry-heaving, the second worse feeling in the world.

I yelled up to my husband, who woke startled. I think he thought the baby was coming because he rushed downstairs pretty quickly. LOL "I'm so sick.." I said. I think part of him was sort of relieved it wasn't the baby because baby boy #2 has more cookin to do.

I started crying and thinking how I should go to the hospital because the feeling was so horrible. I figured they'd think I was crazy, so all that was left to do was pray. I really believed I was feeling sick from the peanut butter I ate so I kept telling Jesus I was sorry I ate it mid prayer. LOL It's funny looking back, but it certainly wasn't funny then. Oh heck, it was funny then. I'm surprised my husband wasn't laughing.

I paced the bathroom floor just trying to find some relief from the horrible feeling. I finally slowed down a bit because I thought if I focused enough on throwing up, it might actually happen. As soon as I slowed down, my husband put his hand on me and started praying. As soon as he did, the feeling of wanting to 'toss my cookies' disappeared. I still felt pretty horrible, but at least I felt it was safe for me to leave the bathroom and lay down on the couch.

My husband continued praying, as I continued apologizing to Jesus for eating the peanut butter. Within a few minutes of John praying for me, I was pretty much fine. My stomach was still uneasy, but I felt I was able to go back to sleep.

After I started feeling better, I stopped and really thought about what just happened. There I was, in pretty desperate situation and within minutes God healed me. This happened to me before, right before I was headed to the hospital for my cysts (the night before I knew I had them). I see a re-occurring theme going on here. Whenever I am sick and I start praying (or my husband prays), God heals me within minutes.

I underestimate God. A lot of the time I don't even bother praying because I think He won't heal me right away. I usually just suffer until I get better. However, my entire pregnancy, any time I have felt sick and prayed, God healed me quickly.

I don't know why God is choosing to heal me so quickly lately, but I'm not complaining. And I know it's Him because most people don't go from feeling like they are going to die to feeling fine in minutes. Either way, God has been proving Himself to me through these moments and I am grateful. Even as bad as those 10 minutes were, I thanked God for them, because He showed me He is still here with me and I needed that. I just wish He didn't have to go to such extremes, but it's my fault. I should have been paying attention.