"God story...ready?"

Any time God has done something amazing in my life and I share it with people, I always say, "God story...ready?" And then I go on with this long story of how awesome God is.
So, I say...God story...ready?
So, I'm a stay at home mom, right? My husband and I decided that this would be best for our baby. That's not to say that we would put anyone down for sending their child to daycare. We just felt this was best for us and our situation. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being home with my lil man. It is the most rewarding thing in the world, but it's also the hardest job I've ever had. It's the best and the worst. The best is seeing my son smile, the worst is the sleepless nights and days.
Im getting off topic...ANYWAY. It is a HUGE sacrifice to be home..especially financially. I don't know many people who can live off one salary, but we manage to do it. And I will tell you it is only by the power of God that we are able to do so. When we budget, we have just enough money to make all our bills...leaving us with little disposable income. That doesn't take into account random things that happen, but don't occur every month (I'm talking about getting oil changed in our cars, new windshield wipers, and other random expenses). It's hard going from having a lot of disposable income when i was working, to having, not so much. When I worked, my husband and I went out to dinner every weekend. When I wanted clothes, I went out and bought them without thinking twice about it. Now, we have to think about those things before we do it. Is there enough money?
Again, I digress. Since we don't have a lot of disposable income, it has been hard to tithe. If we didn't tithe, we'd have a lot of disposable income. It's tempting not to do so. And tithing is hard for me to begin with.
Anyway, last month, I decided that I HAD to tithe. It was hard, I'll admit, but I did it. And I'll say I took a leap of faith and tithed for the whole month. If you know me, you know I'm a realist and often too practical, so tithing for the month is CRAZY and definitely not practical. It was a huge leap of faith.
And you know what? I had nothing to worry about. God proved Himself to me, once again. Our bank account doesn't make sense. There is money in there and Im not sure where it came from. I feel like we spent way more than we usually do and there is still money in there. Not only that, but we have been blessed beyond belief. John has gotten multiple preaching opportunities that have provided extra income. I have gotten a part time job cleaning my parents humongus (is that even a word LOL) house, somehow bills that were supposed to be paid disappeared (I will explain in a bit), and appointments that were supposed to cost me money ended up being free. Free! God went above and beyond proving Himself to me. So much so, it was ridiculous! I couldn't wrap my mind around it, it was just crazy how God provided.
It's funny too, even after all that an unexpected bill came in the mail. I immediately went into panic mode. How are we going to pay this. Oh my gosh I can't take this. I need to get a job to pay for this stuff. Blah Blah Blah. It was probably by design that I went out for a run right after I opened this bill. I just talked to God on my run. I told Him I was worried, I was upset. I didn't want to worry about money, but how could I not? Before I could finish whining and complaining to Him, He said, "Gina, don't I ALWAYS prove myself to you? Have I ever let you down? Have you ever been without? Don't I always take care of you? When have I not taken care of you?" I immediately thought, "I know God, but it's hard."
After that, I decided to shut up. I just had to trust Him again. And I can honestly say I do.
I often look at Caleb and think about how God looks at us. Does He look at us with the same adoration? Does He smile at our every movement? Does He feel the same way about us as I do about Caleb. It's hard to image something I can't see loving me that much, but from people tell me and from what I read in the Bible, He does, although I have trouble wrapping my mind around it. I have to trust and believe God wants to provide for us the same way my husband and I want to provide for Caleb. I wonder this though: if I could buy Caleb Disney World, I'd do it. I wonder if God wants to do the same for us....?? Im assuming He does want to give us the world, He just knows we couldn't handle it.

**About our bills disappearing: they haven't disappeared completely (although that would be awesome LOL) they only disappeared for this month. What happened was this: apparently the loan company who holds our student loans is updating their system and for some reason we didn't have to pay because of the update. Apparently, this system will be updated in October and we will have to continue to pay our loans, but it was a definite blessing to not have to pay for one month! :)