Any time God has done something amazing in my life and I share it with people, I always say, "God story...ready?" And then I go on with this long story of how awesome God is.
So, I say...God story...ready?
So, I'm a stay at home mom, right? My husband and I decided that this would be best for our baby. That's not to say that we would put anyone down for sending their child to daycare. We just felt this was best for us and our situation. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being home with my lil man. It is the most rewarding thing in the world, but it's also the hardest job I've ever had. It's the best and the worst. The best is seeing my son smile, the worst is the sleepless nights and days.
Im getting off topic...ANYWAY. It is a HUGE sacrifice to be home..especially financially. I don't know many people who can live off one salary, but we manage to do it. And I will tell you it is only by the power of God that we are able to do so. When we budget, we have just enough money to make all our bills...leaving us with little disposable income. That doesn't take into account random things that happen, but don't occur every month (I'm talking about getting oil changed in our cars, new windshield wipers, and other random expenses). It's hard going from having a lot of disposable income when i was working, to having, not so much. When I worked, my husband and I went out to dinner every weekend. When I wanted clothes, I went out and bought them without thinking twice about it. Now, we have to think about those things before we do it. Is there enough money?
Again, I digress. Since we don't have a lot of disposable income, it has been hard to tithe. If we didn't tithe, we'd have a lot of disposable income. It's tempting not to do so. And tithing is hard for me to begin with.
Anyway, last month, I decided that I HAD to tithe. It was hard, I'll admit, but I did it. And I'll say I took a leap of faith and tithed for the whole month. If you know me, you know I'm a realist and often too practical, so tithing for the month is CRAZY and definitely not practical. It was a huge leap of faith.
And you know what? I had nothing to worry about. God proved Himself to me, once again. Our bank account doesn't make sense. There is money in there and Im not sure where it came from. I feel like we spent way more than we usually do and there is still money in there. Not only that, but we have been blessed beyond belief. John has gotten multiple preaching opportunities that have provided extra income. I have gotten a part time job cleaning my parents humongus (is that even a word LOL) house, somehow bills that were supposed to be paid disappeared (I will explain in a bit), and appointments that were supposed to cost me money ended up being free. Free! God went above and beyond proving Himself to me. So much so, it was ridiculous! I couldn't wrap my mind around it, it was just crazy how God provided.
It's funny too, even after all that an unexpected bill came in the mail. I immediately went into panic mode. How are we going to pay this. Oh my gosh I can't take this. I need to get a job to pay for this stuff. Blah Blah Blah. It was probably by design that I went out for a run right after I opened this bill. I just talked to God on my run. I told Him I was worried, I was upset. I didn't want to worry about money, but how could I not? Before I could finish whining and complaining to Him, He said, "Gina, don't I ALWAYS prove myself to you? Have I ever let you down? Have you ever been without? Don't I always take care of you? When have I not taken care of you?" I immediately thought, "I know God, but it's hard."
After that, I decided to shut up. I just had to trust Him again. And I can honestly say I do.
I often look at Caleb and think about how God looks at us. Does He look at us with the same adoration? Does He smile at our every movement? Does He feel the same way about us as I do about Caleb. It's hard to image something I can't see loving me that much, but from people tell me and from what I read in the Bible, He does, although I have trouble wrapping my mind around it. I have to trust and believe God wants to provide for us the same way my husband and I want to provide for Caleb. I wonder this though: if I could buy Caleb Disney World, I'd do it. I wonder if God wants to do the same for us....?? Im assuming He does want to give us the world, He just knows we couldn't handle it.
**About our bills disappearing: they haven't disappeared completely (although that would be awesome LOL) they only disappeared for this month. What happened was this: apparently the loan company who holds our student loans is updating their system and for some reason we didn't have to pay because of the update. Apparently, this system will be updated in October and we will have to continue to pay our loans, but it was a definite blessing to not have to pay for one month! :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I am not afraid
Sometimes I can't take it. It's probably my own fault. I read news websites. Forget about newspapers, they are a thing of the past. I live in a technologically advance society. The way I read news websites is equivalent to reading 198503 newspapers. But like I said, its my own fault. I choose to read about what's going on in the world, then spending hours on facebook damaging valuable brain cells. I like to stay up to date with what's going on in this world, but sometimes I just can't take it. It almost gets depressing.
I promise I am going somewhere with this.
Why does the news never have anything good to say? Why do they cover stories of people dying or people who are already millionaires getting richer? These are not things I want to read about. It's not that I don't care, it's just that its' depressing to read about good people dying and it makes me nauseous reading about people who are getting richer that don't need the money.
Speaking of which...the reason for this blog. I'm going to rant here...be prepared. My husband very cautiously turned on Micheal Moore's latest film, Capitalism: A love story. Bad idea, considering that I already know too much about politics and the greedy people involved. This movie was just a reminder of how corrupt people in politics truly are. The bailout was voted down (for those of you who don't know, it was to give money back to mortgage companies and banks...not to help the people). It was a good thing to vote this down. It's not the governments problem to help out banks. However, even though it was voted down...they re voted a few days later and it was passed. So here goes 700 billion dollars to help out these already rich and greedy executives so they could take luxurious vacations and have meetings pool side in paradise. How nice of them.
This makes my blood boil; however, I wasn't too upset...less than usual actually. I realized that I can no longer put my faith or trust in our AWESOME American government (something that I was taught growing up). And I know I should have never put my faith and trust in any man or thing because they WILL fail and disappoint me, but I was raised on the American dream in school and at home. I was taught to work hard and be rewarded. The harder I worked, the more I would get rewarded.
It kind of makes sense right? But what about those people who work 90 hours a week at three different jobs just to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of their children? I thought food and clothes were expected, not a reward. Or what about those people who wants jobs and can't get them, but would work hard if given the opportunity?
My friends, the American dream has failed us. That is why I am giving up on the idea that I will ever be rich. I do not believe what the government has fed me. I don't believe in working hard and making tons of money.
What I do believe in; however, is God. I believe God will always provide, no matter what happens in the economy. No matter what happens in the stock market. No matter what happens in the housing market. God will always be there to BAIL me out with His own stimulus package. And although I may never EVER see 700 billion dollars in my life time, I truly believe my needs will always be met. Yes, there will be things I wish I could have, but I know I don't NEED it. God is my government and He is always there for ME...He is not greedy, He is not worried about the economy, and He does not take lavish vacations with my tax money. Could you imagine God taking a vacay with my tithe?! LOL funny thought, right???
Anyway, I am a realist to a fault and I know that although I trust God with financial situations whole heartedly, I still live in this greedy world, so I am careful with how I spend my money and I do have a budget. But I believe thats what God wants me to do. God has provided my husband with a great job that provides for our family. Ultimately, the money he makes is God's. It is only fair that we are responsible with what God has given us (dawgs, I am preaching to myself too..I have to remind myself).
I know to some of you, this might seem crazy, to trust in something I can't see. However, if God didn't prove Himself to me over and over, then I wouldn't continue to trust Him.
Allow God to prove Himself to you..I guarantee He won't let you down. It's not in His nature.
I promise I am going somewhere with this.
Why does the news never have anything good to say? Why do they cover stories of people dying or people who are already millionaires getting richer? These are not things I want to read about. It's not that I don't care, it's just that its' depressing to read about good people dying and it makes me nauseous reading about people who are getting richer that don't need the money.
Speaking of which...the reason for this blog. I'm going to rant here...be prepared. My husband very cautiously turned on Micheal Moore's latest film, Capitalism: A love story. Bad idea, considering that I already know too much about politics and the greedy people involved. This movie was just a reminder of how corrupt people in politics truly are. The bailout was voted down (for those of you who don't know, it was to give money back to mortgage companies and banks...not to help the people). It was a good thing to vote this down. It's not the governments problem to help out banks. However, even though it was voted down...they re voted a few days later and it was passed. So here goes 700 billion dollars to help out these already rich and greedy executives so they could take luxurious vacations and have meetings pool side in paradise. How nice of them.
This makes my blood boil; however, I wasn't too upset...less than usual actually. I realized that I can no longer put my faith or trust in our AWESOME American government (something that I was taught growing up). And I know I should have never put my faith and trust in any man or thing because they WILL fail and disappoint me, but I was raised on the American dream in school and at home. I was taught to work hard and be rewarded. The harder I worked, the more I would get rewarded.
It kind of makes sense right? But what about those people who work 90 hours a week at three different jobs just to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of their children? I thought food and clothes were expected, not a reward. Or what about those people who wants jobs and can't get them, but would work hard if given the opportunity?
My friends, the American dream has failed us. That is why I am giving up on the idea that I will ever be rich. I do not believe what the government has fed me. I don't believe in working hard and making tons of money.
What I do believe in; however, is God. I believe God will always provide, no matter what happens in the economy. No matter what happens in the stock market. No matter what happens in the housing market. God will always be there to BAIL me out with His own stimulus package. And although I may never EVER see 700 billion dollars in my life time, I truly believe my needs will always be met. Yes, there will be things I wish I could have, but I know I don't NEED it. God is my government and He is always there for ME...He is not greedy, He is not worried about the economy, and He does not take lavish vacations with my tax money. Could you imagine God taking a vacay with my tithe?! LOL funny thought, right???
Anyway, I am a realist to a fault and I know that although I trust God with financial situations whole heartedly, I still live in this greedy world, so I am careful with how I spend my money and I do have a budget. But I believe thats what God wants me to do. God has provided my husband with a great job that provides for our family. Ultimately, the money he makes is God's. It is only fair that we are responsible with what God has given us (dawgs, I am preaching to myself too..I have to remind myself).
I know to some of you, this might seem crazy, to trust in something I can't see. However, if God didn't prove Himself to me over and over, then I wouldn't continue to trust Him.
Allow God to prove Himself to you..I guarantee He won't let you down. It's not in His nature.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
September 11...Random Thoughts
Tomorrow marks the 10th anniversary of the worst day in American history. I have to admit after watching tons of documentaries and special news additions, that I am getting rather upset. I feel like I am reliving that day over and over each time. It really is taking its toll on me. I would stop watching them, but I feel like I have to. I feel like its the American thing to do. I HAVE to remember. I HAVE to acknowledge those who died because I would want them to do the same for me or for a loved one. I can't block it out like it didn't happen because it did happen.
When I watch those documentaries, I try and put myself in that person's shoes. I try and understand what it must have been like. I was only 18 at the time. Young and naive. I didn't even really know what the World Trade Center was. I mean, I knew what it was, but I didn't realize how significant it was or its iconic importance to our country. I was miles away from the impacts, so I couldn't possibly understand what those people felt. But I have to somehow understand. I NEED to know what it felt like to be in the middle of it. Maybe its some subconscious way of preparing myself...just in case. I don't know.
Of course, like everyone else, I remember exactly where I was. I was at home, getting ready for class. I watched as the second plane hit the second tower. I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew it was something bad by the reactions I saw on TV. I called my mom who told me everything was fine. I knew better because the news anchors were telling me differently and the emotion on each New Yorkers face spoke volumes.
I drove to school and listened to news radio. I didn't want to get out of the car. I wanted to hear every detail. What was happening to our country? I got out as I heard about the Pentagon. I didn't get it. I couldn't understand all that was happening.
I sat in my Calc class wondering what in the world was going on. Some girl ran into our class screaming and crying. She was looking for her boyfriend who sat across from me. He walked into the hallway with her and she cried as she said told him more planes were unaccounted for and some were headed for Atlantic City and the Sears Tower.
This scared me more than anything..more than the images themselves.
I went home that night hoping my parents would give me a definitive explanation of what was going on. The news was on as I walked in. My mom was cooking dinner and my dad was watching the news on the couch. I watched my dad's reaction as he watched the replay of the second plane going into the second tower over and over. I was waiting for his response to the images. Finally he said, "Oh my Gosh, its like a kamikaze." I asked him what that meant. He said, "its like they did it on purpose."
At that point, I got it. I understood. It all made sense. Someone was extremely mad at us and decided to do this. Before 9/11, in my naive little world, I could have never imagined someone would do that. That someone COULD do that. It changed my world.
To this day, I hold my breath and cringe whenever I hear a plane fly overhead and living by an air force base and the AC airport, its frequent. I am skeptical about anything in the air, preparing myself for the worse. I do not live in fear only because I have chosen to block the fear out, but like I said, I am always skeptical. I don't like flying and never have. 9/11 gives me more of a reason not to fly. If I do, I need valume. I search the plane up and down for anyone that looks suspicious. I would tackle someone if I had to. I probably would be arrested for profiling and accidentally trying to attack someone. I'll just stay away from planes for now.
The other day I heard a phone call that was recorded on 9/11. It was between a 911 operator and a guy from inside the tower. It records the last 5 minutes of this guys life. It ends with him screaming and the towers collapsing. I don't know why I listened to it because it gave me nightmares. I couldn't sleep for days. But I HAD to listen to it. I had to know what happened in the towers. I wanted to know what it was like for those people inside. After I listened to it, I questioned. Why did God not save those people? Why didn't He help them in some way? The guy inside the towers kept saying he couldn't breath because of the smoke and at one point he tells the operator to ask God to blow wind from the West. Why couldn't God do that? Why didn't He do it?
I know a lot of people were saved that day, but so many lost their lives. I wish it was different. I wish people didn't have to lose their lives. I wish people didn't have to suffer. Its heart breaking.
In the end, I thank God my family was safe. I mourn with those who lost loved ones. I remember those who died. I cry with those who cry. I have not gotten to the point where I can say I mourn the loss of the terrorists. I can't yet...I am still angry. I feel like they got what they deserved. Hell is an awful place and I feel like they deserve to be there. I know thats my human instinct taking over, but part of me does not want to forgive them. I can't. Maybe someday I can honestly say I forgive them, but today, I cannot. I feel like if I said I forgave them I would be slapping all those who lost loved ones in the face.
With God's help, one day I can move on...however, I will never forget <3
When I watch those documentaries, I try and put myself in that person's shoes. I try and understand what it must have been like. I was only 18 at the time. Young and naive. I didn't even really know what the World Trade Center was. I mean, I knew what it was, but I didn't realize how significant it was or its iconic importance to our country. I was miles away from the impacts, so I couldn't possibly understand what those people felt. But I have to somehow understand. I NEED to know what it felt like to be in the middle of it. Maybe its some subconscious way of preparing myself...just in case. I don't know.
Of course, like everyone else, I remember exactly where I was. I was at home, getting ready for class. I watched as the second plane hit the second tower. I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew it was something bad by the reactions I saw on TV. I called my mom who told me everything was fine. I knew better because the news anchors were telling me differently and the emotion on each New Yorkers face spoke volumes.
I drove to school and listened to news radio. I didn't want to get out of the car. I wanted to hear every detail. What was happening to our country? I got out as I heard about the Pentagon. I didn't get it. I couldn't understand all that was happening.
I sat in my Calc class wondering what in the world was going on. Some girl ran into our class screaming and crying. She was looking for her boyfriend who sat across from me. He walked into the hallway with her and she cried as she said told him more planes were unaccounted for and some were headed for Atlantic City and the Sears Tower.
This scared me more than anything..more than the images themselves.
I went home that night hoping my parents would give me a definitive explanation of what was going on. The news was on as I walked in. My mom was cooking dinner and my dad was watching the news on the couch. I watched my dad's reaction as he watched the replay of the second plane going into the second tower over and over. I was waiting for his response to the images. Finally he said, "Oh my Gosh, its like a kamikaze." I asked him what that meant. He said, "its like they did it on purpose."
At that point, I got it. I understood. It all made sense. Someone was extremely mad at us and decided to do this. Before 9/11, in my naive little world, I could have never imagined someone would do that. That someone COULD do that. It changed my world.
To this day, I hold my breath and cringe whenever I hear a plane fly overhead and living by an air force base and the AC airport, its frequent. I am skeptical about anything in the air, preparing myself for the worse. I do not live in fear only because I have chosen to block the fear out, but like I said, I am always skeptical. I don't like flying and never have. 9/11 gives me more of a reason not to fly. If I do, I need valume. I search the plane up and down for anyone that looks suspicious. I would tackle someone if I had to. I probably would be arrested for profiling and accidentally trying to attack someone. I'll just stay away from planes for now.
The other day I heard a phone call that was recorded on 9/11. It was between a 911 operator and a guy from inside the tower. It records the last 5 minutes of this guys life. It ends with him screaming and the towers collapsing. I don't know why I listened to it because it gave me nightmares. I couldn't sleep for days. But I HAD to listen to it. I had to know what happened in the towers. I wanted to know what it was like for those people inside. After I listened to it, I questioned. Why did God not save those people? Why didn't He help them in some way? The guy inside the towers kept saying he couldn't breath because of the smoke and at one point he tells the operator to ask God to blow wind from the West. Why couldn't God do that? Why didn't He do it?
I know a lot of people were saved that day, but so many lost their lives. I wish it was different. I wish people didn't have to lose their lives. I wish people didn't have to suffer. Its heart breaking.
In the end, I thank God my family was safe. I mourn with those who lost loved ones. I remember those who died. I cry with those who cry. I have not gotten to the point where I can say I mourn the loss of the terrorists. I can't yet...I am still angry. I feel like they got what they deserved. Hell is an awful place and I feel like they deserve to be there. I know thats my human instinct taking over, but part of me does not want to forgive them. I can't. Maybe someday I can honestly say I forgive them, but today, I cannot. I feel like if I said I forgave them I would be slapping all those who lost loved ones in the face.
With God's help, one day I can move on...however, I will never forget <3
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
What if we are the sign people are looking for??
One day last summer my brother and I decided to go surfing. It was hurricane season and the waves were big. Overall, the weather was pretty nasty. It was rainy, foggy, dark, and gloomy, but we wouldn't let that stop us from surfing good waves.
To be honest, I don't remember what the surf was like that day. I remember being more excited about the "treasures" I'd find on the beach. You see, during hurricane season, a lot cool stuff washes ashore. I guess you can contribute it to the stormy weather that stirs everything up. Anyway, you can find all kinds of cool things like pretty shells, lots of seaweed, toilet seats, sunglasses, hermit crabs, and a ton of star fish. I love star fish. They are so cool and pretty.
Anyway, when we got to the beach, I dont think I even went in the water. I was too interested in searching for "treasures." I went down to the water's edge and started walking, looking closely for anything that was appealing. I got a few feet from where we dropped our stuff and noticed a ton of star fish!! Suhweeeeeet! I didn't want anyone else to have them so I started to collect them all! There had to be at least 50! I picked up a bunch and any that were missing legs, I left for someone else (real nice of me, right?). I literally couldn't carry all of them so I made several trips. In the end, I collected 30 something star fish.
I placed them on my surf board and decided that I couldn't keep all of them, but I wanted to show my brother what I had found before I'd throw them back in the ocean. When he got out of the water, he couldn't believe how many I had collected! He went down to find more and sure enough a bunch more had washed up. We grabbed all of them and placed them on my surf board. We couldn't believe how many there were!
As we were searching for more "treasures" a little girl and her mom came up to the beach. Keep in mind it was a terribly nasty day out and that there wasn't anyone on the beach except a few surfers and one guy walking his dog. I took notice of them because the mom was wearing scrubs. It looked like she was on her lunch break or something and was taking her daughter for a walk on the beach. The mom and daughter walked up and down the beach, but didnt go too far from the block we were on (which was where they entered the beach).
As the mom and daughter were walking, I noticed the little girl looking for 'treasures' too. She was picking up random shells. When I saw her do this, I felt bad. I knew there wasn't anything good because I had taken it all. She wasn't going to find anything special.
It wasn't long after this that the mom and daughter headed back up the beach. I wasn't standing too far away from them when they passed my surfboard full of star fish and pretty shells. I heard the little girl say, "Look Mom!! Look at all their starfish!" The mom hurried her daughter along, but the little girl wanted to get a closer look. She stopped and stood, starring, just memorized by my board. The mom hurried the little girl along again. It seemed as if the mom didn't want to get her daughter's hopes up of actually finding a star fish of her own.
The little girl followed as her mom slowly walked up to the cement wall. I thought they were leaving, but instead they sat on the wall for a bit.
At this point my brother had come back from walking the beach for more treasures. I told him what happened with the little girl and how she was checking out our star fish. Both my brother and I really felt this little girl needed a star fish. By the time we realized this, the mom and daughter were headed back down toward the water to search again. My guess is the little girl convinced her mom to give it one last try to find a star fish of her own.
My brother and I devised a plan. My brother would take one of our star fish, walk several feet in front of the little girl and her mom and drop the star fish so she could find it. So, my brother did just that. He walked toward the water, dropped the star fish several feet in front of the pair and walked back up the beach to our stuff. And you know what? The little girl and her mom walked right passed it and didn't even see it! LOL
My brother and I watched as they walked passed it. We were upset. We really wanted the little girl to have a star fish. We just felt such an urgency for her to have one. So both of us watched as her and her mom walked up the beach and onto the street. Neither of us could shake the feeling of this little girl having to have a star fish. We had to get her one.
At this point, the mom and daughter were down the street, but we still wanted her to have one. Maybe they would walk back up the beach and ask for one. Maybe the littler girl will come back and walk passed our board and I'll have an opportunity to hand her one. I contemplated running down the street after them and giving her one, but wouldn't they think I was nuts?! The more time I wasted, the further down the street they got. Eventually, I just caved.
I didn't care if they thought I was nuts. There was a reason both my brother and I felt such an urgency to give this little girl a star fish. I would never know why, but we felt like it was God telling us. So I picked up a star fish and literally booked it down the street. I mean full on ran, with no shoes. And I was just in time too. They were about to turn the corner.
"Excuse me!" I said out of breath, "Would you like a star fish?"
The mom just looked at me. The little girl took the star fish out of my hand and said something like, "oh WOW!" But the little girl faded as I starred into the mother's eyes. I will never forget it. I couldn't tell you what the little girl looked like. I could barely tell you what the mom looked like. I can't remember the cars driving passed. I can't remember the house we were standing next to. I can tell you, however, what her eyes looked like because it was crazy.
You know how they say your eyes are the windows to your heart/soul. Well if thats true then in this woman's heart was gratefulness. She was so appreciative of something so stupid. I couldn't believe it. At the same time, she looked so sad. The mom thanked me over and over like I was a sign she was looking for. It seemed like she wanted to hug me, but she resisted.
I stupidly said, "Yeah I don't know if its dead or alive, but we wanted you to have one." LOL Hahaha
She thanked me again and I walked back up on the beach and told my brother what I did. He said something that really got me thinking. He said what if that woman's husband just died and she was taking her daughter for a walk on the beach to get out of the house to take her mind off of everything. What if in her mind, all hope was lost and she was waiting for a sign, something that would give her hope. And then you gave her that starfish. Or what if the little girl was so sad and today was the day you gave her a starfish and she keeps that on her desk in her room at home as a reminder of the day things got better and life turned around for her.
Whoa, that was deep. I don't normally think like that, but my brother does. What if.....
I will never know the impact giving that little girl a star fish had on her or her mom...or if it had an impact at all. All I know is that day God moved in us. And we listened. And to this day, to this moment, it touches my heart. Just knowing how appreciative that mom was that day. They may have forgotten all about it. The star fish might be in the trash. It doesn't matter. It feels good to know I made a difference, even if it was for just a moment.
And no, I don't write this to give myself a boost because I'm not all that great or special. I write this to remind myself to listen to the voice of God even when it feels uncomfortable. If I had let my mind get the best of me, I would have never ran down the street, that little girl would have never had a star fish, and I would have never had that experience.
Who knows if I will ever see those people again. I can't even remember what they looked like. I could remember the mom if I saw her eyes though. They were like crystals. They sparkled.
I do imagine I will see them in heaven one day....
Friday, August 5, 2011
Discovering unChristian Faith
This is chapter 2 of the book unChristian.
I mentioned in my previous post the dynamics of today's generation (see unChristian). The author continues to discuss the characteristics of today's 16-29 yr olds in chapter two. He also discusses the "words or phrases that people use to describe religious faith (Kinnaman, 2007)." Here are some statistics for you:
91% of 'outsiders' think Christians are antihomosexual
87% believe Christians are judgmental
85% believe Christians are hypocritical
75% believe Christians are too involved with politics
72% believe Christians are out of touch with reality
70% believe Christians are insensitive to others
The list goes on, but those are just a few characterizations of Christians by 'outsiders.'
The author does discuss positive phrases perceived by outsiders concerning Christians, but I won't list them since the numbers don't compare. The negative outweigh the positive.
The author sums up the outsiders perspective with 'six broad themes:'
1. hypocritical
2. too focused on getting converts
3. antihomosexual
4. sheltered
5. too political
6. judgmental
He gives a little summary of each, but they are mainly self-explanatory.
The author goes on to discuss some possible arguments one could use in retaliation to an outsiders perception. Us Christians could say that any outsider blames Christianity for their own spiritual denial, therefore, having a negative outlook. However, the author states that "it's easier for people to rationalize their rejection of Christ if they believe Christianity doesn't deserve respect (Kinnaman, 2007)." He goes on to say that we would be stupid if we believed an outsider would reject Christianity solely "to avoid feelings of spiritual guilt (Kinnaman, 2007)."
An outsider's perception of Christianity is not based on their own random presumptions. Their perception comes from multiple sources that include: having Christian friends, co-workers, neighbors, or family members, having been in the church themselves and experiencing the negativity, being a 'sucker' to 'secular' media (although author states that outsiders are not influenced by media as much as we think. Only 31% said that tv and movies influenced their thinking, while 44% said books influenced their perception. Music followed both at only 16%), and being hurt by a Christian.
The author goes on to discuss that Christians sometimes respond to the negative perception by 'hijacking Jesus' or present the word in a less offensive manner ('hijacking' the REAL image of who Jesus was). My question is, have you ever heard a sermon on hell? Moving on....
The sad thing is that many young people WITHIN the church hold the same perception (I would completely agree since I AM one of those young people). Here are some stats for you:
80% of churchgoers believed Christians to be antihomosexual (remember 91% of outsiders felt this way)
52% of churchgoers believed Christians are judgmental (outsiders - 87%)
50% of churchgoers believed Christians are too involved in politics (outsiders - 75%)
47% of churchgoers believed Christians are old-fashioned (outsiders - 78%)
Obviously, the statistics for those WITHIN the church aren't as bad as those outside the church. However, as a Christian, it is sad to see that half of us Christian church going people believe the rest of us are judgmental. What's wrong with that picture?
And yes, the author does say that the churchgoing 16-29 yr olds do want nothing more than to live a life for Christ and try to partake in activities pleasing to Him, but many still hold onto a negative outlook because of what they experience in their churches and the Christians around them.
The author goes on to discuss reasons on why Christians should care about an outsiders perspective. If you are interested in knowing why we should care, then read the book, but I can sum it up for you by saying this: We should care because we need to change it.
That's all for chapter two. I have been mainly just reading this book without completely forming an opinion. I am one of those 16-29 yr old Christians, but I hold an outsider's perspective. I have personally dealt with passed judgment, hypocrites, and crazies who instilled fear in me. And no, I am not talking about the fear of God, I am talking about the 'if you mess up or do anything wrong, you are going to hell kinda fear (I got saved every week because of this). At one point, I do believe I went from Christian to outsider during my college days. I stopped going to church altogether simply because the church closest to campus was uninviting and old-fashioned (no one greeted me or said hi, I felt totally unwelcomed). I was discouraged and gave up. I felt that me being a single, young girl could not help the church in any way. I was no good to them (I wasn't a family six), so no one payed any mind to me. I didn't visit any more churches after that and gave up going unless I went home for a weekend. And even then, I was one of two 20 somethings in my church.
What are your thoughts?
I mentioned in my previous post the dynamics of today's generation (see unChristian). The author continues to discuss the characteristics of today's 16-29 yr olds in chapter two. He also discusses the "words or phrases that people use to describe religious faith (Kinnaman, 2007)." Here are some statistics for you:
91% of 'outsiders' think Christians are antihomosexual
87% believe Christians are judgmental
85% believe Christians are hypocritical
75% believe Christians are too involved with politics
72% believe Christians are out of touch with reality
70% believe Christians are insensitive to others
The list goes on, but those are just a few characterizations of Christians by 'outsiders.'
The author does discuss positive phrases perceived by outsiders concerning Christians, but I won't list them since the numbers don't compare. The negative outweigh the positive.
The author sums up the outsiders perspective with 'six broad themes:'
1. hypocritical
2. too focused on getting converts
3. antihomosexual
4. sheltered
5. too political
6. judgmental
He gives a little summary of each, but they are mainly self-explanatory.
The author goes on to discuss some possible arguments one could use in retaliation to an outsiders perception. Us Christians could say that any outsider blames Christianity for their own spiritual denial, therefore, having a negative outlook. However, the author states that "it's easier for people to rationalize their rejection of Christ if they believe Christianity doesn't deserve respect (Kinnaman, 2007)." He goes on to say that we would be stupid if we believed an outsider would reject Christianity solely "to avoid feelings of spiritual guilt (Kinnaman, 2007)."
An outsider's perception of Christianity is not based on their own random presumptions. Their perception comes from multiple sources that include: having Christian friends, co-workers, neighbors, or family members, having been in the church themselves and experiencing the negativity, being a 'sucker' to 'secular' media (although author states that outsiders are not influenced by media as much as we think. Only 31% said that tv and movies influenced their thinking, while 44% said books influenced their perception. Music followed both at only 16%), and being hurt by a Christian.
The author goes on to discuss that Christians sometimes respond to the negative perception by 'hijacking Jesus' or present the word in a less offensive manner ('hijacking' the REAL image of who Jesus was). My question is, have you ever heard a sermon on hell? Moving on....
The sad thing is that many young people WITHIN the church hold the same perception (I would completely agree since I AM one of those young people). Here are some stats for you:
80% of churchgoers believed Christians to be antihomosexual (remember 91% of outsiders felt this way)
52% of churchgoers believed Christians are judgmental (outsiders - 87%)
50% of churchgoers believed Christians are too involved in politics (outsiders - 75%)
47% of churchgoers believed Christians are old-fashioned (outsiders - 78%)
Obviously, the statistics for those WITHIN the church aren't as bad as those outside the church. However, as a Christian, it is sad to see that half of us Christian church going people believe the rest of us are judgmental. What's wrong with that picture?
And yes, the author does say that the churchgoing 16-29 yr olds do want nothing more than to live a life for Christ and try to partake in activities pleasing to Him, but many still hold onto a negative outlook because of what they experience in their churches and the Christians around them.
The author goes on to discuss reasons on why Christians should care about an outsiders perspective. If you are interested in knowing why we should care, then read the book, but I can sum it up for you by saying this: We should care because we need to change it.
That's all for chapter two. I have been mainly just reading this book without completely forming an opinion. I am one of those 16-29 yr old Christians, but I hold an outsider's perspective. I have personally dealt with passed judgment, hypocrites, and crazies who instilled fear in me. And no, I am not talking about the fear of God, I am talking about the 'if you mess up or do anything wrong, you are going to hell kinda fear (I got saved every week because of this). At one point, I do believe I went from Christian to outsider during my college days. I stopped going to church altogether simply because the church closest to campus was uninviting and old-fashioned (no one greeted me or said hi, I felt totally unwelcomed). I was discouraged and gave up. I felt that me being a single, young girl could not help the church in any way. I was no good to them (I wasn't a family six), so no one payed any mind to me. I didn't visit any more churches after that and gave up going unless I went home for a weekend. And even then, I was one of two 20 somethings in my church.
What are your thoughts?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
UnChristian
So John and I took a trip to the town carnival today in Galloway. It comes every year. Its pretty small and not a big deal unless your a 'tween' looking to mack it to your girlfriend (they were everywhere), but we figured it would be nice to get out the house to walk around for a bit. So, we went, walked and 5 minutes later, we were done.
We drove 15 minutes to get the stroller out and walk around for 5 minutes? There had to be more to do. Well, luckily there was. The carnival was right by the library so I figured I'd stop in and grab a few books. I had recently read an article on the "10 books you should have read in high school, but you probably just bought the cliff notes" and I was feeling guilty so I thought I'd grab all those American Literature classics I never read.
I like the library. Its quiet and therapeutic to walk up and down the aisles looking at random books. I like reading the summaries. Sometimes I pick up books that have a kool title or I'll pick up a book simply because the picture on the front is colorful. This is my idea of a good time these days.
Anyhoo, I was walking around aimlessly trying to find those American Classics and I stumbled upon the religion section. I was not looking for this particular section, but I had managed to make my way there. I rummaged through a few books, pulling them from the shelf and reading their summaries. Most looked boring to me, like old history books. But one in particular caught my attention. It was titled, "UnChristian." I grabbed it, read the summary and was immediately enthralled. I had to get this book. A few minutes later, after I grabbed a few of those American Classics, I was checking out and headed back to the car.
I'll be honest, as we were driving I wondered if I would really read the book. I wanted to and had good intentions, but when would I find the time? Well, I managed to find time tonight before bed and I will tell you that having only read 25 pages of this book, I am hooked. So hooked that I will share this book with you chapter by chapter as I read it. So here is chapter one.
This book is about the UnChristian or those outside the faith between the ages of 16-29. It is about the 'outsiders' (which includes many different people, not just atheists) perception of Christians and Christianity. And the findings are not good. Outsiders (as the author refers to them) of that age range find Christians to be hypocritical, judgmental, and often have a hard time connecting with them. The authors goal is to make Christians aware of these perceptions and to bridge the gap between believers and 'outsiders' so they (or we) can bring more people to Jesus. The author believes bridging the gap will help us better communicate and connect with 'outsiders.'
This all makes sense to me since I fall between the targeted research group. I have had many many conversations with people about how the church has failed and that is why we see very few 18-30 year olds in the church today.
However one thing got me thinking. The author begins to describe the characteristics of older Mosaics and younger Busters (the 16-29 year olds) in detail. We are an interesting bunch (I say 'we' because I fall into that category). He describes as this:
"..young people perceive the world in very different terms than people ever have before. For example, the lifestyles of Mosaics and Busters are more diverse than those of their parents' generation, including education, career, family, values, and leisure. Young people do not want to be defined by a 'normal' lifestyle. They favor a unique and personal journey."
He continues by stating:
"...relationships are a driving force. Being loyal to friends is one of their highest values. They have a strong need to belong....Still, under their relational connectedness lies fierce individualism...they are irreverent and blunt. Finding ways to express themselves and their rage...Being skeptical of leaders, products, and institutions is part of their generational coding...They do not trust things that seem too perfect...(They) enjoy more hours of media...Technologies connect young people to information and each other-and power their self-expression and creativity...(Kinnaman, 2007)."
I would have to agree with this generalization and I would expect you to agree as well if you fell into the 16-29 yr old age range.
As I mentioned before, something got me thinking. The author mentions a study conducted in 1996. The study was based on an outsiders perspective of Christianity. They found that 85% of Americans favored Christianity and had a positive outlook on Christians. However, ten years later, that number was cut in half.
One could say different people were surveyed which could have drastically changed the results; however, both studies, the one in 1996 and the one in 2006, included atheists, agnostics, and non church goers. So let's say that wasn't a factor.
My question is this:
Is it the church's fault for being hypocritical, judgmental, fearmongering crazies that has turned people off in the past ten years? Or is it the 'outsiders' fault for becoming cynical skeptics?
I would love some feedback.
We drove 15 minutes to get the stroller out and walk around for 5 minutes? There had to be more to do. Well, luckily there was. The carnival was right by the library so I figured I'd stop in and grab a few books. I had recently read an article on the "10 books you should have read in high school, but you probably just bought the cliff notes" and I was feeling guilty so I thought I'd grab all those American Literature classics I never read.
I like the library. Its quiet and therapeutic to walk up and down the aisles looking at random books. I like reading the summaries. Sometimes I pick up books that have a kool title or I'll pick up a book simply because the picture on the front is colorful. This is my idea of a good time these days.
Anyhoo, I was walking around aimlessly trying to find those American Classics and I stumbled upon the religion section. I was not looking for this particular section, but I had managed to make my way there. I rummaged through a few books, pulling them from the shelf and reading their summaries. Most looked boring to me, like old history books. But one in particular caught my attention. It was titled, "UnChristian." I grabbed it, read the summary and was immediately enthralled. I had to get this book. A few minutes later, after I grabbed a few of those American Classics, I was checking out and headed back to the car.
I'll be honest, as we were driving I wondered if I would really read the book. I wanted to and had good intentions, but when would I find the time? Well, I managed to find time tonight before bed and I will tell you that having only read 25 pages of this book, I am hooked. So hooked that I will share this book with you chapter by chapter as I read it. So here is chapter one.
This book is about the UnChristian or those outside the faith between the ages of 16-29. It is about the 'outsiders' (which includes many different people, not just atheists) perception of Christians and Christianity. And the findings are not good. Outsiders (as the author refers to them) of that age range find Christians to be hypocritical, judgmental, and often have a hard time connecting with them. The authors goal is to make Christians aware of these perceptions and to bridge the gap between believers and 'outsiders' so they (or we) can bring more people to Jesus. The author believes bridging the gap will help us better communicate and connect with 'outsiders.'
This all makes sense to me since I fall between the targeted research group. I have had many many conversations with people about how the church has failed and that is why we see very few 18-30 year olds in the church today.
However one thing got me thinking. The author begins to describe the characteristics of older Mosaics and younger Busters (the 16-29 year olds) in detail. We are an interesting bunch (I say 'we' because I fall into that category). He describes as this:
"..young people perceive the world in very different terms than people ever have before. For example, the lifestyles of Mosaics and Busters are more diverse than those of their parents' generation, including education, career, family, values, and leisure. Young people do not want to be defined by a 'normal' lifestyle. They favor a unique and personal journey."
He continues by stating:
"...relationships are a driving force. Being loyal to friends is one of their highest values. They have a strong need to belong....Still, under their relational connectedness lies fierce individualism...they are irreverent and blunt. Finding ways to express themselves and their rage...Being skeptical of leaders, products, and institutions is part of their generational coding...They do not trust things that seem too perfect...(They) enjoy more hours of media...Technologies connect young people to information and each other-and power their self-expression and creativity...(Kinnaman, 2007)."
I would have to agree with this generalization and I would expect you to agree as well if you fell into the 16-29 yr old age range.
As I mentioned before, something got me thinking. The author mentions a study conducted in 1996. The study was based on an outsiders perspective of Christianity. They found that 85% of Americans favored Christianity and had a positive outlook on Christians. However, ten years later, that number was cut in half.
One could say different people were surveyed which could have drastically changed the results; however, both studies, the one in 1996 and the one in 2006, included atheists, agnostics, and non church goers. So let's say that wasn't a factor.
My question is this:
Is it the church's fault for being hypocritical, judgmental, fearmongering crazies that has turned people off in the past ten years? Or is it the 'outsiders' fault for becoming cynical skeptics?
I would love some feedback.
Getting over it all with Jesus
It's rare these days that I get a moment of silence to myself. I have come to the realization that babies are loud creatures and demand more attention then one person can give. Granted, I have an amazing husband who lets me sleep in when he's home and allows me to work out every day. I do get those moments to myself, but it's rare that I get a moment to just sit and let my mind wonder. When I do get those moments, its usually in the morning, while I'm still half asleep, TRYING to get a few more minutes in before I face the day. Those few minutes are usually interrupted by a screaming a baby who is waiting for me to take care of his every need.
However, this past week has been different. Luckily for me, my husband has been on vacation from work and has gotten up with the baby pretty much every morning so I can sleep in. This has allowed me several moments of silence (as I like to call them) and many periods of reflection (reflection is one of those teacher buzz words that unfortunately has become part of my regular vocabulary). During these moments, I have prayed, asked God many questions, read the Bible, and thought. I thought about what I read and why God does the things He does. I thought about my life and how God was working in it. Most importantly, I reflected, and asked God to reveal things to me.
Now understand, that when you ask God to reveal things to you, you may not like what He reveals. I came to this conclusion recently when He revealed to me the latest revelation about myself. What was it? Read on.
One morning, during one of those precious moments of silence I got thinking about certain people God placed in my life. I began thinking about the way those certain people treated me and how they hurt me (both unintentionally and intentionally). I realized that I was very upset about how these people treated me and I became very bitter. At that moment, I realized I held stupid grudges and took things way more personally than I should have. In the end, even though I felt my bitterness and anger towards these people were justified, I hated the person I had become due to an overwhelming bitterness and regretted the way I treated those people in return.
Yes, God revealed to me, that I was bitter. Me?! Bitter? Yes. It was hard to swallow, honestly. No one likes the truth because the truth hurts, but me being bitter was the truth. Now knowing I was a bitter person, I looked back at some previous relationships and examined them. After thorough examination, I realized that I had ruined relationships because of stupid bitterness. I held grudges and refused to talk to people. And for what? For no good reason. Because they said or did something I can't even remember.
I have to say, as I am typing this, that it is not easy putting this out there for all to see. I would never want anyone to judge me because of this, but instead pray for me and my bitterness. We all struggle with something and this is my something. The first step is realization. I have realized my problem and I can only move forward. No one wants to be a bitter person. Its not worth it. It's not worth ruining relationships over. Its stupid. Life is too short to hold grudges and at the end of the day, I can't even remember why I held those grudges.
The big thing for me is not having the bitterness, but how it made me feel. It made me a miserable person. Holding grudges turns you into a nasty person. It makes you act out in anger for no reason. It causes you to be mean and take things personally. That's no good. I want to be a happy person all the time.
My plan now is to pray that God helps me. I can honestly say I am already on the road to recovery (LOL). I am giving up holding grudges and taking things personally. Life's too short to be angry, bitter, mad, or whatever. I'm getting over it all with the help of Jesus. :)
However, this past week has been different. Luckily for me, my husband has been on vacation from work and has gotten up with the baby pretty much every morning so I can sleep in. This has allowed me several moments of silence (as I like to call them) and many periods of reflection (reflection is one of those teacher buzz words that unfortunately has become part of my regular vocabulary). During these moments, I have prayed, asked God many questions, read the Bible, and thought. I thought about what I read and why God does the things He does. I thought about my life and how God was working in it. Most importantly, I reflected, and asked God to reveal things to me.
Now understand, that when you ask God to reveal things to you, you may not like what He reveals. I came to this conclusion recently when He revealed to me the latest revelation about myself. What was it? Read on.
One morning, during one of those precious moments of silence I got thinking about certain people God placed in my life. I began thinking about the way those certain people treated me and how they hurt me (both unintentionally and intentionally). I realized that I was very upset about how these people treated me and I became very bitter. At that moment, I realized I held stupid grudges and took things way more personally than I should have. In the end, even though I felt my bitterness and anger towards these people were justified, I hated the person I had become due to an overwhelming bitterness and regretted the way I treated those people in return.
Yes, God revealed to me, that I was bitter. Me?! Bitter? Yes. It was hard to swallow, honestly. No one likes the truth because the truth hurts, but me being bitter was the truth. Now knowing I was a bitter person, I looked back at some previous relationships and examined them. After thorough examination, I realized that I had ruined relationships because of stupid bitterness. I held grudges and refused to talk to people. And for what? For no good reason. Because they said or did something I can't even remember.
I have to say, as I am typing this, that it is not easy putting this out there for all to see. I would never want anyone to judge me because of this, but instead pray for me and my bitterness. We all struggle with something and this is my something. The first step is realization. I have realized my problem and I can only move forward. No one wants to be a bitter person. Its not worth it. It's not worth ruining relationships over. Its stupid. Life is too short to hold grudges and at the end of the day, I can't even remember why I held those grudges.
The big thing for me is not having the bitterness, but how it made me feel. It made me a miserable person. Holding grudges turns you into a nasty person. It makes you act out in anger for no reason. It causes you to be mean and take things personally. That's no good. I want to be a happy person all the time.
My plan now is to pray that God helps me. I can honestly say I am already on the road to recovery (LOL). I am giving up holding grudges and taking things personally. Life's too short to be angry, bitter, mad, or whatever. I'm getting over it all with the help of Jesus. :)
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