Caleb's Dedication

When I got pregnant with Caleb, I was so grateful. I felt like I was one of the lucky ones. I constantly thought about those women who couldn't get pregnant or lost children. Why did God pick me? Why was I allowed to have children, but others weren't? I was so thankful. I thanked God every day, multiple times a day.
After awhile, simply telling God 'thank you' wasn't enough. There had to be more. One day at about four or five months pregnant, I was jogging on the treadmill. I began to thank God for the beautiful gift He put inside me, but I felt my thank yous weren't enough. I asked God what else I could do to show Him how grateful I was. There had to be something. God told me to dedicate the baby back to Him. Without hesitation, I told God I would, but I thought there had to be more I could do. After all, I was already going to dedicate the baby....that was it, God?
God told me over and over to simply dedicate the baby...that that was thank you enough. Really? OK!
So, as Caleb gets dediated today, I will know in my mind that this is ultimate "Thank You" to God. I will be publically stating that, ultimately, Caleb is God's child. Yes, John and I are his earthly parents, but God is His real Father and we are going to do everything in our power to raise him according to how God would want us to raise him.
Also, one of my new favorite verses is in Luke where it says, "every first born male who opens the womb will be called Holy to the Lord." And if you recall in the old testament, God tells Moses to tell the Israelites that He wants all the first born children and animals, that they are His.
Today, we are telling the world that Caleb is God's and we are praying that God will continue to have His hand on his life as he grows.

PS We would have loved for ALL our family and friends to experience such a special day, but as you know John and I have BIG immediate families. So we decided to only invite our immediate family members. Please do not feel left out or shunned. We wish we could have invited everyone. Feel free to pray for us and baby Caleb today!

Maybe its just me....

Ok, so here it goes, I am going to rant a little bit, but this whole thing is bothering me. Maybe I am stupid for letting it get to me, but I'm really beginning to wonder if I'm the dumb one. But what is with all the drinking these days? And no I'm not talking about water. I'm talking about red solo cuppin, can chuggin, brown baggin, let me post my drunken nights on facebook kinda drinkin. I don't get it. Don't go to church and praise God like there's no tomorrow and then post pictures via facebook of you doing keg stands and funnels off of your friends roof. Don't go to Bible study then talk about doing 15 shots for your 19th birthday. Please don't claim to be a major Jesus lover and then hit up the club because we all know you're going there to drink. Yes, I'm talking to those people who use every excuse in the book to drink one down and throw one back. I think St. Patrick is awesome, too, but I don't really think he cares how many shots you can do in his honor. C'mon people. Yes, Jesus drank, and I too, will have a drink every now and then. There is nothing wrong with it. However, I am disgusted by the 'Christians' who post pictures of their crazy drunken nights in the city. If in a majority of your pictures on facebook you have a beer in your hand, you have a problem.
The one thing that really upsets me are the under age drinkers and the parents that let their children drink. Am I wrong for thinking that that might not be the best idea?
And no, I'm not claiming to be perfect. I am guilty of this exact thing and I learned the hard way. I wish people would just see how messed up it really is. And maybe I am totally wrong for even thinking these things. Maybe I was raised way too conservatively (some people would definitely think so). I just feel like lately, the drinking has gotten way out of control, like moderation went out the window....

Ok, I am done ranting. I apologize if I have offended anyone, but I just feel strongly about this topic. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with drinking, but if your under age or have a facebook album titled "do you remember what happened last night, cause I dont," you might not want to be walking around telling people how much you love Jesus.

Open your eyes....He's there

This past month has been crazy. Between birthdays, weddings, and other special events, we have been so busy. Unfortunately for me, when I get busy, I neglect God. I just can't seem to find time for Him, even though I know I should.
Since I have been struggling to find the time to spend with God, I have been pretty discouraged about things. It seems like when I don't spend time with Him, I can't see Him moving like I would when I am spending time with Him (if that makes any sense). But the past few days have been very uplifting and encouraging and I would like to share them with you.
Like I said, maybe its me and the lack of diligence with spending time with God that has caused me to be blind to God's presence in not only my life, but others around me. However, this past weekend I saw God and it was awesome. Where did I see Him? I saw Him at a wedding, a beautiful one at that. A wedding where God was center stage, where the two people getting married wanted it to be about Him. I have to wonder if there were people there that couldn't see Him. And I wonder if there were people there that noticed the 'different' kind of love between the bride and groom.
There is a 'different' kind of love, ya know. Its a different love from what the world knows as love. I didn't realize the difference myself until I was older. There is a difference between what the world knows as love and a Godly love between two people. Its a love so greater than the human mind can understand. A love, that if you didn't love God, you couldn't even begin to comprehend. That Godly love was what I saw at this wedding and it was awesome.
Where there is a Godly love, there is God. God was at that wedding. I could feel His presence. It was awesome. And it was so kool to see two people acknowledge God the way they did on their wedding day. What an encouragement. What a blessing to be a part of that. What an uplifting day. It was incredible.
Coming off of such a spiritual high on Sunday, it was hard to face Monday morning. Getting back into the grind is never easy, especially after having such a great time the day before. I was a little sad and part of me wondered where God was on Monday. Why would He allow me to experience such an incredible spiritual high and then leave me the next day. Well, obviously, He wouldn't. My husband took off Monday and we spent the day taking walks, playing with our son, and eating pizza and ice cream. We even went to Smithville village which is a big deal because I always ask my husband to go, but he refuses. It was a great day and it reminded me of how blessed I truly was.
Fast forward to Tuesday night. Sometimes bible study, is just bible study. Sometimes I get distracted because of the baby. Sometimes I just can't concentrate and I get lost in my thoughts thinking about what I need to do before bed. Last night was not like that at all though. We prayed for the new group we started at church called re:define. It was so awesome to hear people pray for this new mission that me and husband were a part of. The prayers that were prayed were incredible, awesome, encouraging, and so uplifting. That spiritual high was back and it was awesome. I felt rejuvenated, refreshed, and I felt like God was apparent to me. There's nothing better than that.
After writing all that, I have to wonder something. Will God find us and reveal Himself, even if we aren't looking? Or is He always there, its just a matter of us opening our eyes and paying attention.
I would say He's always there, just waiting for us to see Him. Coming to this conclusion has encouraged me to open my eyes a little wider today.

Dreams and Earthquakes

With all the severe weather these days its no wonder I had a dream about an earthquake. I was walking home from school in Egg Harbor City (random) and I heard some neighbors outside talking about and pointing to what they thought was a demolition going on down the street. I heard one of them say, "they are getting rid of the (insert random building name I cant remember)?!" The people were upset and as I looked in the direction of where they were pointing, I could see a puff of smoke where the so called demolition was taking place. Then, I heard one of them say, "they are getting rid of the school......and the playground?!"
I spun around toward the school, which is where I was a few minutes before. I watched as it was 'demolished.' I saw the playground go down too. And I saw the puff of smoke that usually follows a demolition.
It was about a second later, after I turned back around to continue walking home that the street started to crack and split. It was at that moment I realized that there were no demolitions going on, but it was an earthquake that was causing these buildings to collapse. I immediately went into panic. Where should I go? Am I going to die?
I started running, not even sure of where I was going. Then, all of a sudden I felt an amazing peace. I started praising God. At first, I was still a little scared, but the more I sang praises, the better I felt and the less scared I became. I was okay with death and the splitting streets in front of me were not at all terrifying. I was literally 'praising God in the storm' and it made me feel awesome.
Eventually, the earthquake stopped. God told me to start clapping for Him. So as I walked down the street, I clapped. God told me to clap louder. So I did. He told me to clap louder than ever before. So, I used all my might to slap my hands together to make the loudest noise ever. I asked God why He wanted me to do this and He said it was because people would hear me clapping after this devastating earthquake and they would ask me why I was clapping. I was supposed to tell them God.
As I walked and clapped, many people stared at me and a lot of people pointed. And then........I woke up.....at least I think I did because I don't remember anything else. :)
Crazy dream right?

I feel freee!

Ok, so I am going to talk about something that's difficult for a lot of people, including me. It's something whose details can be controversial and can often lead to heated debates. I am talking about tithing. Who's with me when I say it's difficult? Raise your hand if you have had the discussion of whether or not to tithe on your gross or net. Who has debated whether we are supposed to tithe 10% or possibly more?
If you're like me, you've heard these questions and statements and maybe even debated over the correct answer. In the end, most I've talked to believe they tithe according to what God tells them to tithe or what they feel compelled to give. I have to agree with that statement.
Even though I believe in tithing according to how God leads me, it is never easy. Well, I can't say 'never easy,' because there are times I have no problem writing out that check. Most times, however, I have a hard time. I don't know what it is or why I have such difficulty. Maybe it's because I am a 'saver' and always have been. My parents used to borrow money from me when I was little because I would save allowance money and Grandmom money. I had a bank account at 10 years of age and I opened it with money I saved. I am definitely cheap. I hate to spend extra money when I don't need to. I will only buy things on sale and I will always find the thing I want for cheaper. Oh and I LOVE coupons!
Obviously you can see that saving money is a big deal to me. I know part of it is that I don't like living outside my means. Another part of it is that a savings account keeps me from worrying about financial problems. Either way, giving up/spending money, even if it's for necessities like food or clothes is tough. I have to talk myself into it most of the time, even if it's for myself.
Having said all that, you can see how tithing is hard for me. I know the benefits and everything, but sometimes, that doesn't make easier. Today though, I had a different experience.
I have been extra careful with our money lately. I am staying at home with the baby and John is the only one working right now. He brings in enough to support us, but there are always extra things we pay for each month. When I write our budget down on paper, we have more than enough, but somehow it disappears (I couldn't even tell you where it goes). Moving on...
At church, they stopped passing the plate. Instead, there is a little mailbox looking thing in the back of the church and you can put your tithe in it whenever you get the chance. This has made me a worse tither. I always forget to put my check in the mailbox. There have been a few times where I remembered, but most of the time I forgot, even when both John and I told each other to remind each other at the end of church (if that makes sense).
The good thing about our church is that you can tithe online. So even though I forgot to put my check in the mailbox, I can still tithe online if I want. The only thing is, I forget to do that too! Haha Ok, so sometimes I CONVENIENTLY forget, but it's not all the time. Most of the time I just plain forget.
Lately, I've been getting on myself about tithing. I've been making it a point to remember and I started feeling bad about forgetting. As I was food shopping tonight, I kept reminding myself over and over to tithe online when I got home. It's been too long and I needed to tithe. As I continued my food shopping and I added diapers and formula to my cart, I knew the bill was going to be big. I hate spending so much money!!! How on earth was I going to tithe?!
I skipped the special treats for myself, like the frozen berries I use to make a smoothie that are $10 for a small bag. I skipped the meats because they are usually expensive. And I skipped the ice cream, because let's be honest, no one in the house NEEDS ice cream. I started panicking about money. How am I going to tithe? Will we have enough left over to pay the bills? All these questions about money flooded my brain. I was freaking out!
Then, I remembered what the pastor had said this passed Sunday. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it was something like: if you don't tithe when you have a little bit, you won't tithe when you have a lot.
Maybe that doesn't make sense to you (and I could totally be saying it wrong), but it made sense to me. I always wish I had more money so I wouldn't have to worry. I always tell God I would tithe more and give more to the poor if I had more to give, but I really need to tithe all the time, regardless of what I have.
So even though i was freaking out about money on the way home from food shopping, I tithed online. And no, I am not tooting my own horn. I am writing this because I felt so free afterwards! I thought I would feel worse because I was giving up more money, but I actually felt loads better! I found freedom from my worry in tithing! Who would have ever thought?! I was so worried about spending money that I got home and spent more by tithing and it made me stop worrying! LOL Now only God can do that!
I write all that to say. TITHE. Its hard, trust me, I know. But it's so freeing at the same time. I have a new perspective on it now. It's pretty awesome. :)