I feel freee!

Ok, so I am going to talk about something that's difficult for a lot of people, including me. It's something whose details can be controversial and can often lead to heated debates. I am talking about tithing. Who's with me when I say it's difficult? Raise your hand if you have had the discussion of whether or not to tithe on your gross or net. Who has debated whether we are supposed to tithe 10% or possibly more?
If you're like me, you've heard these questions and statements and maybe even debated over the correct answer. In the end, most I've talked to believe they tithe according to what God tells them to tithe or what they feel compelled to give. I have to agree with that statement.
Even though I believe in tithing according to how God leads me, it is never easy. Well, I can't say 'never easy,' because there are times I have no problem writing out that check. Most times, however, I have a hard time. I don't know what it is or why I have such difficulty. Maybe it's because I am a 'saver' and always have been. My parents used to borrow money from me when I was little because I would save allowance money and Grandmom money. I had a bank account at 10 years of age and I opened it with money I saved. I am definitely cheap. I hate to spend extra money when I don't need to. I will only buy things on sale and I will always find the thing I want for cheaper. Oh and I LOVE coupons!
Obviously you can see that saving money is a big deal to me. I know part of it is that I don't like living outside my means. Another part of it is that a savings account keeps me from worrying about financial problems. Either way, giving up/spending money, even if it's for necessities like food or clothes is tough. I have to talk myself into it most of the time, even if it's for myself.
Having said all that, you can see how tithing is hard for me. I know the benefits and everything, but sometimes, that doesn't make easier. Today though, I had a different experience.
I have been extra careful with our money lately. I am staying at home with the baby and John is the only one working right now. He brings in enough to support us, but there are always extra things we pay for each month. When I write our budget down on paper, we have more than enough, but somehow it disappears (I couldn't even tell you where it goes). Moving on...
At church, they stopped passing the plate. Instead, there is a little mailbox looking thing in the back of the church and you can put your tithe in it whenever you get the chance. This has made me a worse tither. I always forget to put my check in the mailbox. There have been a few times where I remembered, but most of the time I forgot, even when both John and I told each other to remind each other at the end of church (if that makes sense).
The good thing about our church is that you can tithe online. So even though I forgot to put my check in the mailbox, I can still tithe online if I want. The only thing is, I forget to do that too! Haha Ok, so sometimes I CONVENIENTLY forget, but it's not all the time. Most of the time I just plain forget.
Lately, I've been getting on myself about tithing. I've been making it a point to remember and I started feeling bad about forgetting. As I was food shopping tonight, I kept reminding myself over and over to tithe online when I got home. It's been too long and I needed to tithe. As I continued my food shopping and I added diapers and formula to my cart, I knew the bill was going to be big. I hate spending so much money!!! How on earth was I going to tithe?!
I skipped the special treats for myself, like the frozen berries I use to make a smoothie that are $10 for a small bag. I skipped the meats because they are usually expensive. And I skipped the ice cream, because let's be honest, no one in the house NEEDS ice cream. I started panicking about money. How am I going to tithe? Will we have enough left over to pay the bills? All these questions about money flooded my brain. I was freaking out!
Then, I remembered what the pastor had said this passed Sunday. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it was something like: if you don't tithe when you have a little bit, you won't tithe when you have a lot.
Maybe that doesn't make sense to you (and I could totally be saying it wrong), but it made sense to me. I always wish I had more money so I wouldn't have to worry. I always tell God I would tithe more and give more to the poor if I had more to give, but I really need to tithe all the time, regardless of what I have.
So even though i was freaking out about money on the way home from food shopping, I tithed online. And no, I am not tooting my own horn. I am writing this because I felt so free afterwards! I thought I would feel worse because I was giving up more money, but I actually felt loads better! I found freedom from my worry in tithing! Who would have ever thought?! I was so worried about spending money that I got home and spent more by tithing and it made me stop worrying! LOL Now only God can do that!
I write all that to say. TITHE. Its hard, trust me, I know. But it's so freeing at the same time. I have a new perspective on it now. It's pretty awesome. :)