My son likes to stare. We find him staring at random things in the house. We try and align ourselves with his eyes to figure out what he's staring at and most of the time we find he is staring into a corner. What is so exciting about a corner? Oh yeah, and most of the time, it's the ceiling corner.
I've come up with a theory. He's looking at angels. I know I might sound crazy, but I really believe this....especially after today.
Caleb has not been eating well. He screams, cries, and pretty much freaks out every time I try and nurse him. It has been difficult for all of us lately every time he eats. I cry every time I try and nurse because I don't want him to have formula. It really has been a battle that I refuse to lose. My husband suggests all kinds of tricks to get him to eat, but nothing works. Caleb is now taking medicine which seems to work a little, but it's still a struggle most of the time.
Anyway, this morning was a battle. Caleb ate well for a little bit, but (as usual) when we tried to burp him mid way through, he screamed like we were trying to kill him. Being completely exhausted, I freaked out and asked God why a million times. Why haven't my prayers been answered, why is this so difficult, why can't you just make this baby eat well, why does this have to be such a pain when you can fix this, why aren't you hearing me?
I thought about women in the Bible. Last night, I read in Exodus about Moses and how Pharaoh's daughter found him in the river and asked one of the Hebrew women (Moses' mom) to nurse him. I tried to imagine how special it must have been for Moses' mother to do this as I fed Caleb. This was supposed to be a special bond between me and my son and I'm hating every minute of it. What did women in Biblical times do when babies wouldn't eat???
I tried for five minutes to get Caleb to eat, all while he screamed and cried. I changed positions, moved to a different part of the condo, tried standing on my head (LOL not really, but if I knew that would work, I'd do it). Eventually, he ate a little more. I thank God he was able to eat at least a little bit.
Unfortunately, he didn't eat enough (after going through the night without nursing, you can imagine the pressure). I had to extract some (please excuse my terminological as I am trying not to be too graphic). I didn't know how I was going to do this because Caleb hates being put down and my husband was walking out the door to work. Unfortunately, I just had to put him down to do what I had to do.
So, I put him in his swing. Now, understand that Caleb loves his swing. However, he will not stay in his swing without a binkie and a blanket to hold it in. I, in a rush and a completely fog from the morning's battle, just put him in the swing and did what I needed to do.
As I am sitting there watching him in the swing, I am waiting for him to freak out. He has no binkie, no blanket...there was no way he was going to stay in there long enough. However, the next thing I know, he is cracking up. He is babbling away and smiling like crazy. He is looking up and just having a grand ol time. I swear he was seeing angels. As soon as I finished doing what I needed to do, he started getting upset...he needed his binkie...
I really believe they were angels he was looking at. The angels were entertaining him. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm telling you, my child will not stay in his swing without a binkie, unless he is entertained. Could I be completely wrong....maybe, but I wouldn't mind one bit if my son saw angels. I mean, besides Jesus, what better thing to look at?!
So, yes, this morning....angels entertained my son. Jesus sent them because he knew I needed a break. They must have played with him and sang to him (he likes that). I know it sounds nuts because I think I sound nuts just writing about it, but how would anyone know the difference?
I personally believe we entertain angels all the time, we just don't know it and if you believe in guardian angels, then this post isn't too far fetched for you. There are angels around us all the time. Sometimes, we can see them. Most of the time we don't. I think it's because they like to keep a low profile :)
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