Ok, Ok, ok, so I could make every excuse in the book and I will attempt to do so. :) This morning I didn't go to church. Why? Well, I've been battling a nice sinus infection/cold all week. It stunk. I could barely move on Tuesday (so much so that John stayed home from work to take care of me and the baby). It got progressively better as the week went on, but I didn't get the rest I needed to recover. John had to go back to work (obviously he couldn't stay home with me all week until I got better) and I was stuck with a very cranky baby to take care of. No time to sleep in, that was for sure. So, I say all that to say, I am still sick, still battling this cold or whatever it is, and I refuse to go to the doctor because I don't want them to tell me I have to go on antibiotics because that will mean I have to stop breastfeeding and I don't want to do that right now.
Not only am I battling this lovely cold, I felt disgustingly nauseous most of the day yesterday and I haven't had an appetite all week. I really felt like I was going to toss my cookies. I was up most of the night feeling like I needed to run to the bathroom every ten seconds. Granted, I didn't sleep (although I never really sleep anymore these days). I need my sleep.
On top of all of that, yesterday was a very stressful day. We are trying to list our condo and there is a ton of stuff we are trying to fix up to make it look more presentable. Granted, it's little things that need fixing, but it's a lot of little things that add up and it's going to take some time and it's all very stressful. What really stinks is that I usually get a break on Saturdays from the baby. My husband is home and normally takes the baby here and there so I can eat without having to hold a crying baby (it's the little things these days that mean the most...like eating lunch in peace..). Anyway, since my husband was fixing up our condo I had to keep an eye on the baby all day. I know that might sound bad, but I really look forward to Saturdays to get a little break (keep in mind I don't get a break all week, except maybe an hour at nights when John holds the baby while I eat dinner). Not getting my normal break yesterday stressed me out, which caused my stomach to be in knots all day, which probably caused my nauseousness later on.
Ok, so I gave every excuse in the book, but in all honesty, it's true. But why I am I even writing this? Well, I probably could have made it to church this morning, but I chose to take the opportunity to sleep in a bit (especially since I didn't sleep well last night and I never get to sleep much these days). And if you felt the way I did, you would have probably stayed home too. I mean, let's be honest, my excuse not to go to church is totally justified. I needed the rest.
However, this morning, as I was thinking about not making it to church, I felt really bad. I felt really selfish. I basically told God that He wasn't worth it, when in all reality I could have made it and survived. My question is, where do you draw the line? When is it okay to miss church? When is it justified? Yes, I could have pushed and went to church, but ultimately I felt like I needed the rest. But should I have gone anyway??
I guess it really depends on the person.....
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