Life-Giving Faith

"How may I more and more abandon myself from any earthly, human fellowship, until I am absolutely so bound to God that God has the right-of-way to the throne of my heart, until the center of my emotions is blessedly purified, until there is no room for anything except the Son of God, who is the Author and Finisher of faith?"

It is so hard sometimes to turn off the flesh. When our human minds get the best of us, they can cause some serious damage. I should know. I am a worrier. The fear of the unknown gets the best of me a lot of the time. Some would say it is a simple human characteristic, but I let it take over completely sometimes. And when I let Satan in just a little bit, he is capable of causing a big ruckus if I don't put my faith in God.

The reading that goes along with this devotional is from Romans 4:8-5:2 and it is the justification of Abraham's faith. Even when all hope was gone (especially in the human sense) Abraham held on and trusted God. That is the hardest thing to do. There are so many times in my life where I've given up on God. I've said it verbally and mentally over and over when things didn't go my way. I can honestly say that when all hope is lost, I give up on God. Good thing He doesn't give up on me! I look back and feel bad and of course ask God to forgive me, but then I do the same thing again when life gets tough.

It's funny because lately I have been giving up on God. I swore I would never do that again, especially after the experience I had with my whole job situation last year. For those of you that don't know, I was unemployed for about two months after I finished my teacher certification program. I was so desperate for a job, I cried out to God every day. There were days I completely gave up on Him and wanted nothing to do with Him. When things worked out (and I got a job just like He promised me) I felt bad and swore I would never give up on Him again because He proved Himself to me. However, only a year later, I am in the same boat, arguing, yelling and fighting with God to give me my way when I want it and when He doesn't, I give up on Him.

Thank goodness God is merciful and gracious. Where would I be if He wasn't?